Fighting Ice with Fire
by whoaitsmina
Summary: I guess I've always been a Daddy's girl. We've always been well-off and being an only child, I have always gotten everything I asked for. Until my dad remarries and I'm stuck with a new step-brother who just can't seem to stop getting in my way. I'll get rid of him though, and his porcelain skinned mother. I always do get what I want. Except maybe now, what I want is him. AU OOC.
1. Chapter 1

_I guess I've always been a daddy's girl. My mom passed away when I was 9 and now at the ripe age of 17, I have learned to enjoy life's curve balls with my best friend- my dad. We've always been well-off. My mom's parents owned half the city of Forks and we lived in a 5 bedroom home that felt too lonely after mom passed away. My dad got a promotion shortly after her death as the town's sheriff and I barely see him now. He's devoted his life to the safety of the city and now- his new wife. I've only met the woman twice- at the wedding 3 months ago and yesterday, when she dropped off her 18 year old son._

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I've always imagined what it would be like to have siblings. What is it like to wake up to a full house with laughter and commotion? Being an only child taught me only one thing that I consider valuable-how to entertain myself. My parents have always been my two greatest fans. We did everything together: hiking, ice cream binges (mom's favorite guilty pleasure) and shameless nights of cup-a-noodles (my favorite guilty pleasure) while watching Supernatural.

She died of breast cancer at the age of 29. She was only 20 when she had me and according to my dad, I was every bit as planned as her future was before she was even born. My grandparents are basically royalty here. What's funny is, they don't even live here. Too rainy and gloomy for the Wicks. My mother was the princess to Albert and Chanel Wick. They taught me elegance and self-righteousness and to never chew with my mouth open. Although I still talk to my grandparents, I'm not as close to them as I am to my dad's father. I never knew my grandmother on my dad's side because she passed away when my mom was still pregnant with me, but I heard she was every bit as witty and all-knowing as me. In fact, I've been told more than I can count that I get all my wits from her.

My beauty-that's all my mother. Auburn red hair, light brown eyes and fair skin.

When my mom passed away, I didn't really understand what it meant to have her gone. To never see her again. At the age of 9, you don't understand the level of permanence that comes with death. But with each day, every minute and every tear on my dad's cheeks, I understood. There would be no more ice cream or instant ramen.

But I'm making it sound worse than it was. My dad took it all relatively well and we created new traditions. Ones that didn't remind us of mom and instead, made us become even closer. We started to eat dessert before dinner because we both agreed that life was too short and you should never have to be uncomfortably full to enjoy your favorite things. We started running together so that my dad could keep in shape for his demanding new job and at the same time, spend precious time together that were so hard to find. He leaves town for days at a time and even though I'm pretty used to it now, I still wish that he would slow down. I wish he would enjoy life with me without having to keep his brain numb with work.

You know what they say, though? Be careful what you wish for. 4 months ago, dad left on an unusually long trip. 3 weeks. Clay, our live-in guardian stayed with me and dad said he was leaving to Oregon to offer his services to a town in need. When he came back, he sat me down and explained that he had met someone. They had been dating for months and he felt that it was too soon to tell me. Now that woman had finally divorced her ex-husband (literally a week ago!), and she was ready to commit.

A month later, an extravagant wedding was thrown in the city of Portland. My grandparents Albert and Chanel were furious and refused to attend. They asked that I refrained, as well. They threatened to take away every penny from my father and put me in charge of all the liquid cash (a 17 year-old, but ok). My father drew up a pre-nup and the wedding continued as planned. I attended with my new step brother, Edward Cullen. We stood on each side of our parents. His- an ice cold replica of a freaking candle wax model and me, next to my warm, trusting father.

I was okay with my dad moving on. I wanted him to. But I just assumed it wouldn't be with someone that looked like they just stepped out of a meat locker. I had imagined someone with sunshine in their eyes who smelled like vanilla and smiled with all of her teeth. Not this. Not the cold, hard smirk that this woman had permanently painted on her face. Not the perfectly manicured toes peeking out of her $2,000 shoes and sure as hell not the equally intimidating son that she had brought with her.

I knew nothing about them. My dad assured me that she was sweet, that she was loving and that I would love getting to know her. He told me that her former husband had treated her horribly and left her with nothing. That he was a drunk and a low-life and he just wanted to save her. That was not the vibe I was getting. Every breath seemed calculated, every second of eye contact she established and every step she took seemed deliberate. This did not seem like a woman who could be beaten down. She was too confident and I didn't like it.

But I couldn't argue- I couldn't contest and I sure as hell couldn't tell my father that he had just married the stupidest looking bitch I had ever seen. Seriously, her wedding "dress" was half crochet-half silk. She had her hair half up-half down. And she had half white roses and half ice blue. She was a walking poster child for 'unable to make decisions on literally anything' and it took everything in me to not punch her and her stupid looking kid.

My dad started teaching me how to defend myself when I was 2. I was pretty sure I could take them both. Sure, Edward looked like the all-American football star but I had agility. I was half his size and knew exactly where to land my jabs. He was probably too predictable and easy to move around.

"Bella?" My dad called for the rings in front of me, breaking me out of my contemplation.

"Right-sorry, dad. Here you go, last chance to back out." I said as I handed him the small box while earning nervous chuckles from the audience.

The rows directly in front of us were filled with my dad's police friends, college buddies and a few family friends. I didn't recognize a single face on their side.

The ceremony was over fairly quickly and all I could think about was getting home, drawing a bath and maybe lighting a joint. Except that was pretty far-fetched seeing as we were in goddamn Oregon. We stayed in their 2-bedroom apartment for one night after the wedding and I took a flight back home the next morning so that I wouldn't miss school. Esme and Edward had to stay and get everything settled for the movers while dad had stayed with them to help. Dad stayed mainly in Oregon to make sure her ex-husband didn't bother her and visited only once in the 3 months that he was gone.

I had the whole house to my self for an unknown amount of time- sans Clay, my guardian while dad was out of town. But Clay is 67 years old and lives in the staff house almost a quarter mile away near the front gate of the estate. He did several tours in the Marines and knew his way around God knows how many weapons and has been my dad's best friend since high school. He's a strong dude and always has got a poker face on so you never know if he's actually about to hug you or kill you- perfect for the job.

I threw 4 parties, smoked about an ounce of weed and made out with more guys than I can count before my new mother dearest showed up in her new home- a whole three months later. They wanted to wait until Edward had finished his first semester as a junior in high school, same grade as me.

As far as I knew, she had never been here. And from the look on her face- she was very pleased. She walked into every room, opened every fucking cabinet and drawer and made Clay carry all of her shit into my dad's room while her son locked himself into his new quarters. I still had not had an actual conversation with her and even though I was not looking forward to it, I knew it was ridiculous to assume that I could just ignore her until she went away.

I too locked the doors to my room and blasted music through my speaker system while smoking a joint. My dad basically dropped her off, gave me a kiss on the cheek and went straight to work. I guess when you take 3 months off, they kinda need their sheriff back ASAP.

That night, I dreamt of nothing. I woke up restless and hesitant to get out of bed. I knew that it was the last day of finals and thus the last day of school so I got up, got dressed and headed downstairs.

When I got to the kitchen, I did not expect to find my new brother cleaning up the only tub of coffee that had spilled on the ground and all over the counter.

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 _Please review and let me know if you enjoyed, it really helps :)_


	2. Chapter 2

"Uhmm…what are you doing?" I asked while trying not to trip over myself.

Mornings are not for me. I can't break out of the grogginess until early afternoon and even worse, without coffee, I might as well be useless.

I stepped into our kitchen. It was a modernly decorated small haven that my grandmother had designed with my mom while she was pregnant with me. State of the art appliances, a beautiful island and a pantry to match my appetite. Wood counter tops and white cabinets. A different handle on each drawer and cabinet because she asked me to choose the replacements almost 2 years before her death.

It's a big house and while there are lots of reminders of my mom still lingering everywhere, my favorite is here. She cooked all the time. The copper pots and pans hanging on top of the kitchen island were the special set she only used for Christmases and birthdays.

The dent on the lower right side of the built-in refrigerator was from when she dropped a boiling pot of water and it dented a small corner of the fridge.

Several post-it notes would hang from the front of the fridge, the oven and the pantry. All different colors with different reminders. The same ones she would put in to my lunch box every morning.

It was just as warm as she left it. I made sure of it. Although the post-its started falling one by one, I kept each one in a small box in the back of the pantry. I made sure that the fridge was never replaced but repaired. The same pots and pans still hang over head, never touched except to get cleaned.

I still cooked every Thursday night to- I don't know…feel close to her.

Edward looked up and gave me a shy smile, breaking me out of my haze. He continued cleaning up and asked,

"Do we have any more coffee?" Great.

"No. We don't." I replied, grabbed my backpack from where I left it by the door and left.

No coffee means a coffee shop run on my way to school which adds about 15 minutes to my commute.

"Wait! Bella!" He called out after me but I was already out the door so he had to run out to the front yard with me.

I turned around and waited. I was pretty sure this was the first time I had exchanged words with Edward. I guess he wasn't a bad looking guy. Brown hair and brown eyes. Taller than most of the guys in our school. He had a strong build but not overly done- just in shape.

"My mom left for Seattle for a charity function with my aunt and won't be back for 2 weeks. Your dad told me that tryouts for the swim team next semester are today. Could I get a ride with you? You're going to school, right?"

What? Too many questions, I don't even know where to begin.

"Swim team? Your mom's gone? Did you not get here like, yesterday? Do you not have a car? Am I supposed to drive you every day? Do I look like your personal chauffer?" I panicked while rolling my eyes at the same time. A gesture I have gotten very good at.

He seemed really lost, almost scared at my breakdown.

"Look, Edward. I will not be driving you to school. Not today, not ever. Clay lives a little ways down the road and he can take you until you figure out your car situation. Dial 04 on the intercom." I said as I continued down the yard towards my white Range Rover.

I quickly turned around when I remembered, "Oh and Edward? Don't touch my coffee if you don't know how to freaking make it. Actually, don't touch anything you're not absolutely confident in handling."

With that, I slammed my door shut and sped out of the driveway.

I don't know why I felt so angry. This guy had done nothing to make me hate him.

His mom? Sure. But even her, I barely knew. Maybe she was just trying to give me some space. Some time to wrap my head around seeing a new woman in a house that my mom filled with sunshine every day.

But why had she not said two words to me?

I knew in my bones that something was missing. Like the other shoe was going to drop any minute and it was going to my dad who got hurt.

I planned to question him when he got home. Ask him how long he's known Esme. How they met, where is she from- everything I need to know to form an actual opinion on someone I didn't know anything about.

For now, though, I've got one last final to ace and then I've got the entire winter break to do some digging.

Biology was pretty uneventful. The exam was too similar to the review that had been handed out last week and I was done in under 45 minutes.

I found Hazel, my only friend whom I share everything with and wished her a good break. Although, I would undoubtedly be seeing her before the new semester starts.

Hazel was just like me. Except, she was the most perfect person I had ever met. Long blonde hair, hazel eyes, fair skin and about half an inch taller than me. Although she would never be caught dead wearing anything shorter than an inch heel. Her mother is a very successful wedding planner and she gets her entire sense of fashion from her. Designer handbags, shoes, dresses- you name it. Even my grandmother liked Hazel better than me.

She was outgoing, on the cheer squad, and even did a lot of volunteer work around campus. She had a new boyfriend every month like clockwork and was the life of the party.

Me? Not so much. Not that I was a loner, I had friends and still tagged along whenever Hazel was in one of her party moods, but I mostly kept to myself. Solitude was the only thing I found peace in. I was known as the girl who would dance her socks off at a party and then flee when the conversation got too personal. Hazel understood that and she never pushed. That's why we worked.

I usually threw the parties and Hazel was the one that attended and made it interesting. I hated the idea of a designated driver and I had the means to make sure I was never in that situation. I could retract upstairs to my safe place and Hazel could continue playing hostess. It was perfect.

We were known as a duo in school. Always together. We had friends but no one that we were close with. Everyone tried to get close, some actually made an effort, but we had both lost too much to know that friendship like ours was rare.

Hazel lost her twin sister when she was 4 in a car accident. She doesn't remember her much but has to watch her parents remember every horrifying detail on her birthday every year. We met when we were both 5. Our birthdays only 2 days apart.

We were inseparable in middle school. Sleepovers every day. Camps, sports, fashion shows….we did everything together. It was still the same but we both appreciated our alone time a little more now.

I don't know where I would be without her. I owe her my sanity.

When I finally got home, it didn't seem like anyone was here. I checked the kitchen, living room and outside but sure enough, I was alone. I made myself an early dinner and left some extras in the fridge for dad.

I took my dinner upstairs and lit a joint.

Marijuana was one of my best friends. I didn't see it as an actual drug and it helped me with my anxiety and as my therapist would call it, PTSD. I guess when you watch your mom die of cancer, you have some issues to work through. My dad supported it as long as he didn't see it. Most of the anti-depressants they put me on either didn't work or made me become a zombie. This was the only thing that helped.

That being said, I hated drugs. Forks is a small town and we have our small share of druggies. I kicked out anyone who tried to bring any form of narcotics into my house and made sure they never returned.

Just as I was about to start my bath, I heard the familiar sound of the alarm telling me that the front door had been opened.

Just past 3, I knew it couldn't be my dad.

Let's see what brother dearest is up to.

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 _Please review and let me know if you enjoyed, it really helps :)_


	3. Chapter 3

I throw on a sweater over my tank top and stroll down the stairs in my pajama shorts. Although it's raining, the house is always warm. Compliments of Albert and Chanel.

I reach the bottom of the stairs and see Edward taking off his layers one by one. First the rain boots, then scarf, coat…he finally sees me and pauses.

"Hey…. look…I know this isn't the most ideal situation. I'm an outsider in your home but this isn't exactly my cup of tea, either." He says as he starts to go for the kitchen. I can't tell if he's being sincere because I can't pick up any emotions from him.

I instinctively follow him, wanting to know more.

"Just let me know what I can do to stay out of your way." He says while putting his backpack on the counter.

I don't respond right away and he just stares.

"I guess I may have been a little harsh this morning. I'm not a morning person. And this kitchen is really special to me, I'm not used to seeing people in it." I try to avoid eye contact but I can feel his eyes piercing into me.

I continue, "I guess this is your home now, too."

I know my expression is blank and he's not sure how to continue so he just gives me a short smile.

"Ok…now that that's settled, tell me about yourself. What do you like to do? Any hobbies? Where's the best places to eat?" His energy shifts and he seems more relaxed.

"Uhm…I'm not sure. I really just keep to myself. I don't eat out a lot and don't really have any hobbies. I like to read, I guess? Did you make the swim team?" I ask as I take a seat at one of the high chairs by the island.

"I think so, everyone kinda sucked to be honest." He shrugs and smiles.

"That's good, right?"

"Yeah, we'll see."

I start to ask what I've been dying to know.

"So, I know this was all very sudden but my dad actually never mentioned your mom until about a month before the wedding. Did you know about this? I mean it just seems kinda odd that my dad would let a teenage boy into our home and leave me alone here with him? No offense..." I ask and play with my fingers.

He sighs, places both palms on the counter and leans in.

"Yeah, I knew my mom was seeing someone. They dated for about 6 months before your dad asked her to marry him. My mom comes from a very wealthy family. Her parents both passed away a while ago but being an only child, she kept everything. I think she was just happy to find someone and not worry about the money, you know? Obviously, you guys are doing okay, too." He gestures to the space around him.

Interesting. I guess I could kind of tell from the way that both of them carried themselves.

"Okay….and you were just okay with packing up and leaving? I mean in the middle of high school? And why did your mom leave in less than 24 hours? Why has she not said a word to me?" This time I was the one staring.

If my questions were bothering him, he didn't show it. His square jaw didn't even flinch. Two blinks was all I got and he replied,

"You're pretty upset, aren't you? I figured Charlie would be the one to answer these questions." He paused and moved around the island to come closer to me. He leaned his elbow on the counter and held my gaze.

"Your dad asked both of us to give you some space. He said he talked to your therapist and she recommended that we give you time to absorb everything and that you would come to us when you were ready. She said you could only handle so much." He smiled again.

My therapist? What in the world? It's been almost 8 years since my mom passed and everyone was still walking on egg shells. What about what I thought?

"Well, that's the stupidest thing I have ever heard. You could have at least filled me in on it." I pushed away from the counter and went upstairs to look for my phone.

My father had some explaining to do. Just as I was about to dial, Edward appeared in the doorway.

"Bella, it's not your dad's fault. Go easy on him. He doesn't know what to do. Everything just happened so fast."

As he finished his words, I could see that his gaze was taking in his surroundings.

My room was the only place I felt like myself. White walls that were covered with stencils, posters, murals and paintings. It was a huge space for just one person but I loved it.

I had a big fluffy couch in front of the massive balcony to watch the sun set. A coffee table between the French doors and the couch. Several faux fur rugs covering my dark hardwood floors. Countless plants, some hanging, some outside and some on shelves. At any given point, at least three candles were burning. When you first entered the room, to the right was my king sized bed. Instead of a head board, I had a painted picture of my mom in her early 20's, holding a bunch of different flowers. If you didn't know her, you would think she was just some random model. Someone's muse.

My desk was against the wall, directly opposite to the door. And to the left, my balcony where I spent most of my time. I had two couches outside and because there was a canopy, they mostly stayed dry. Right next to the entrance to the left was my bathroom. A beautiful tub and shower along with more candles. I had a TV on a rollable stand tucked away in the corner of the room. I rarely used it.

Edward had a layout identical to mine, down the hallway on the opposite side of the stairs. My balcony saw the front of the house and the sunset. His saw mostly the backyard and the sunrise.

His gaze found mine with my phone still in my hand.

"I hope you at least give him a chance to explain." With that, he left the room.

I didn't call my father. I figured this was a conversation best suited face-to-face, anyway.

I continued filling my bathtub with warm water and lit more candles. I put on one of my favorite albums, Strange Tails by Lord Hudron and sat at the edge of the tub while deciding what to read on my iPad.

Then I heard a knock at my door. I made sure nothing was too revealing through my silk robe and opened the door.

I found Edward holding a cupcake and a shy smile.

"I picked a couple of these up on my way from school. Clay said Berry Field was the best place for pastries. I hope you like vanilla." He extended the cupcake towards me and realized that I wasn't fully dressed. His gaze lingered at my eyes then slowly traveled down. I quickly grabbed the cupcake instinctively and murmured a thanks.

He cleared his throat and excused himself.

A cupcake? Who is this guy? And how can he make a pastry run seem manly?

3 hours later, my father finally gets home.

I go downstairs and hope that he isn't too tired to talk.

"Dad?" I called while looking for him in the kitchen.

"Bells? Thanks for dinner, you know I love pasta!" He gives me a kiss on the forehead and heats up his food.

"Sure. Hey…I really need to talk to you." I say as I take a seat at the island.

"I know, Bells. Me, too. What do you wanna know first?" He asks and leans into the counter.

"Why, dad? I wanna know why. Why would you bring a whole new person into our lives without even asking me? I mean, of course, I want you to be happy but why didn't you let me get to know Esme better? Why did her son just move into our home and all of a sudden, I now have a brother? It's just so weird. You used to tell me everything. I didn't even know you we're seeing someone."

I pull my long sleeves to cover my hands while looking down.

"Bells, I met Esme while on the job. She was in Forks for a seminar and her ex-husband followed her here and was threatening her. She wanted a divorce and he wanted money. I helped her file a restraining order and find a good lawyer. We talked and just- I don't know…connected. I don't expect you to understand all of this but I kept it from you because I wanted to be sure that I was doing the right thing."

He grabbed his food from the microwave and continued,

"I really hope you understand, Bells. Esme is a really busy person, anyway. She's out of town a lot and maintains several different businesses all over the country. We both agreed that it was best for her and her son to move in here. I know it was fast but I just didn't want to wait anymore."

He pauses to gauge my reaction.

"Oooooo-kay…."

He cut me off and continued, "And Edward is a great kid. Straight A's, no traffic tickets, he's very athletic and he's got great manners." He started mumbling as he chewed.

I rolled my eyes and said "Well, he sounds just great."

We looked at each other at the same and both started laughing. I loved my dad more than anyone in the world. I was happy to see him laugh again.

"If you're happy…I'm happy, dad." I got up and gave him a hug.

"Thanks, bells." He kissed the top of my head and I went to the fridge to grab an iced coffee. I knew this conversation wasn't over but I decided not to press anymore for tonight.

Just then, I heard Edward enter the kitchen.

"Hey, Sheriff." He said and grabbed a water.

"How were tryouts today, Edward? Easy peezy?" He slurped more of his pasta.

"Yeah, I don't know if I'll keep up with it, to be honest. The coach is only 22 years old and I think I would get more practice training here." He chuckled and took my seat at the island.

"Well, you do what you gotta do. We have an indoor pool in this community, Clay can show you where it is. We also have the pool in the backyard but it's a lot smaller."

"Thanks, Charlie." He says as he smiles.

"Sure thing. Oh and Edward? You keep an eye on this girl, I have a feeling this semester will be worse than the last." He chuckles and messes up my hair.

"Hey! I got straight A's this semester! Just because I got into one teeny little fight and I'm crazy now?!" We all laugh and Edward asks,

"A fight?! Oh, I gotta know more!"

"Well, I am beat. I'll let Bella fill you in." He gives me a hug and fist bumps Edward then goes upstairs.

Edward crosses his arms and leans against the counter. I don't know what it is about his gaze but he's never the first to break eye contact.

"I'm sure you'll hear about it eventually. It's a small town and I'd rather have your imagination fill in the blanks, for now." I give him a smile, probably the first one since we met and pass by him to go upstairs.

"You don't want to know about my imagination, Miss Swan." I catch his smirk across my shoulder and raise my eyebrows.

Maybe my new brother won't have too much trouble keeping up with me, after all.

* * *

 _Please review and let me know if you enjoyed, it really helps :)_


	4. Chapter 4

Here's the thing about mornings. If I can spend them wrapped up in blankets with the sweet smell of amber coming from a lit candle, then they were alright. If I had to get up and go downstairs because there was yelling coming from a stranger, then they weren't all that great.

I got up and threw on a sweater and some socks and padded my way to the stairs. As I got closer, I could hear a female voice whisper yelling, and failing at the whispering part, go on about how she had to drive all the way over here.

"I've been in the car for almost 6 hours and this is the welcome I get? This is just fantastic. I knew it. I knew you were avoiding me."

She had her arms crossed and looking at somebody on the other side of the kitchen, just out of view.

She had long brown hair and fair skin just like mine. She was a good 3 inches taller than me and was really beautiful, given that she had been driving for 6 hours.

She heard me coming down the stairs and turned 90 degrees to her left. The second her eyes landed on me, she sucked in a huge breath and took two big steps towards me.

"WHO the HELL are you?!" She pointed a perfectly manicured nail at me and then twirled around towards who I was assuming to be Edward. She was our age and she was definitely not someone I knew.

If it wasn't 7 am and if maybe I was a patient person, I would have answered her question and then reciprocated the same.

Except, I wasn't. My patience ran thinner than a runway model and I was already grumpy from having to exit my warm cocoon.

"Wrong question, girl. You need to tell me who you are before I call the cops. This is MY house. MY floors you're muddying up with your trashy boots." I got up in her face and we were only about 4 inches apart. I crossed my arms and waited.

"Your house? I'm so confused, someone needs to explain what's going on- RIGHT NOW."

I heard a sigh coming from the kitchen and finally, Edward appeared. He was wearing a black long sleeve sweater with grey khakis. He looked between us and finally locked eyes with whoever this girl was.

"Aubrey, not that it is any of your concern, this is my step sister, Bella." He gestured to me with his right hand and dropped it as soon as his sentence was finished.

He took a step closer and continued, "You and I were finished before I even told you I was moving. It's not avoiding if you have no reason to conversate with someone. You are not what I thought you were and frankly, I have no idea what you are doing here." I could smell his body wash from where I was standing. Sandalwood? I made a mental note to get a new candle.

He walked over to the door and crossed his arms.

"While this may be my sister, even if she wasn't, it would still be none of your business. Now, I'd really appreciate it if you left." He raised an eyebrow and didn't break eye contact with her.

She didn't move at all and dropped her arms, "I just thought you would want to talk. You should let me explain. You'll see that this was a mistake. Please."

She moved closer to him and his expression didn't change. He looked frozen.

"Aubrey, you're making this way worse than it needs to be." He looked straight at me with apologetic eyes and something just snapped.

"Hey Aubrey, tell you what…if you don't leave in 30 seconds, I'll just have to make you." I walked over to the intercom and clicked on the intercom.

"Clay? I need your help removing somebody off the property." I lifted my finger and waited for an answer. Clade had a radio on him at all times for situations like this.

"Bells? What happened? I'm grabbing the shotgun, where are you? Should I come to the front?" This was the first time I had ever utilized the services that he was paid for. Forks was a small town and I never had to ask Clay to come and help me remove someone. I knew that he had several weapons and he was very serious about my protection. He had lost a daughter when she was only 7. His ex-girlfriend had dropped her off on his doorstep and left. Cancer ate her up and Clay had never been the same. Lily and I used to be friends and played together when we were little. She was a couple years older and I didn't remember her all that much. But Clay was family. I respected the hell out of him.

Aubrey started scattering and opened the front door.

"You're going to regret this." And with that, she slammed the door and left.

"Actually Clay, looks like she's leaving. Can you just make sure her car exits the property?"

"Sure thing, Bella." I could hear a loud sigh on the other side of the intercom.

I looked over at Edward and wanted to question him so badly. But he didn't seem like he would be answering too many questions.

"Sorry about that, it was very unexpected." He moved towards the kitchen and I automatically followed.

"No worries. Crazy ex? How did she even get in here, there's a gate?" I asked as I took my usual spot at the island.

"Clay radioed me and said there was a girl here to see me. She wouldn't give her name to Clay. I guess I didn't really expect it to be her. I should have known better. Who else would it be?" He chuckled and looked down.

He was hesitant to continue and didn't make any eye contact, "We dated for 3 years, then I caught her with another guy. She's tried denying it, but I know what I saw. The rest is history. This was almost 4 months ago, right around the wedding." He took a deep breath and finally found my eyes.

"Well, anyway, I don't think she'll be coming back." I said while getting out of my seat. I offered him a small smile and turned around to go back to sleep.

"Bella?" He called after me.

"I'm going back to sleep…" I said as I continued walking. I stopped at the bottom of the stairs and waited.

"Sweet dreams." He smiled and disappeared around the corner. I had a feeling that was not all he wanted to say but I decided to drop it.

I woke up again several hours later and had a lazy morning. It was the first day of break and I wanted to cherish it for as long as I could.

I relit a couple of candles and put my guilty pleasure music on. Nothing like Ariana Grande to put you in the mood.

I took a warm shower and made my way downstairs. Just as I was about to open the fridge, I got a call from Hazel.

"Helloooooo." I answered.

"Hey girl, you home? I'm 5 mins away."

"Sure, bring food." I replied.

"Kay, see you in a bit." _Click._

Perfect for a lazy day.

I turned the TV on and before I could even get comfortable, Hazel was entering the house. She had her own key code for the door and Clay knew her well enough to let her in without buzzing us.

We never really spent too much time at her house. She had a similar set up but shared a security guard and gate with 6 other homes.

"Food time!" She announced as she entered the large living room. It was just off to the side of the kitchen, at the opposite end of the house. It had large French doors that led to the backyard patio and floor to ceiling windows. Ample amount of light entering the simply decorated room. While we didn't get much sunlight in Forks, when we did, mom wanted to make sure we could enjoy it.

We had a large horse shoe shaped couch and a large TV mounted above the fire place.

"Your favorite, crusted mac and cheese and garlic bread. You sounded like you needed it." She knew me too well. This was my soul food. I loved creamy pasta and garlic bread, who doesn't?

"So when do I get to meet your new brother? Is he starting school with us?" She asked between large bites of her Caesar salad.

"I'm not sure where he is right now but yeah, he's going to Forks." Something about this little fact made me…happy? Excited? Newbies are hard to come by, after all.

"Well, we should definitely have a little Christmas party before the new semester starts and he can meet everyone. Maybe he'll even make some new friends before school starts." This is what I loved about Hazel. She was nice to everyone. She genuinely cared and wanted to help. Me? Not so much but I respected her for it. She balanced us out perfectly.

"Yeah, we should definitely have a party. This weekend? Friday?" I replied.

"That's perfect, I'll send the invites." Of course, she would. She always did. I never actually invited anyone to my house for parties. They magically showed up.

"We should decorate a little! Get a plastic tree or something. It'll be cute! I'll come by a little early to set up." This was usually about the time I lost interest. Decorating was not my thing. Although I appreciated having a clean and tidy space, I didn't sit and contemplate which color palette to follow while decorating my room.

"Oh! And make sure your brother actually comes!" She giggled and turned towards the TV.

"It'll be hard to miss, he lives here." I rolled my eyes and smiled.

I filled her in on the drama packed morning I had and she listened with the expression of a deer caught in headlights.

"So, she just showed up? And wouldn't leave? Wow. Desperate much? I can't ever imagine showing up at some dude's house after breaking up and explicitly being told to stay away. She must have had some strong feelings." She commented as she finished off her salad.

I knew that this was probably personal information, but Hazel was my best friend. She was basically my sister. I trusted her to not tell anyone.

"Yeah, I'm not sure what went down exactly but he seemed really upset." I took all the dirty plastic containers and threw them away. I grabbed two iced coffees from the fridge and handed one to Hazel.

"Maybe he'll find someone new at this party! I'm so excited. We haven't had anyone new in the mix since end of Freshman year when Tom from Michigan transferred. Do you remember that?" She could barely finish her sentence as she started laughing loudly.

I did remember that. I did not however remember it being that funny. Little Tom from Michigan had not gotten the memo about personal hygiene and had wiped his booger clad fingers on my textbooks after accidentally knocking them off the table in English.

I was livid and poor kid almost cried after the scene I made.

"Right, well, I have a feeling we won't be having those problems with Edward." I said as I sipped on my coffee.

"Edward….hmmm…even his name sound mysterious." She giggled while wiggling her eyebrows.

I knew she would probably make a move on him. He was exactly her type. Tall, dark and mysterious-incredibly handsome. I wasn't sure if this bothered me or not. While I loved my best friend, I couldn't imagine someone like Edward entertaining conversations of decorations and nail polish colors.

I decided I would let it play out. If he was interested in her, then I knew it wouldn't be a bad thing. My best friend and new brother dating couldn't be terrible. I knew I had to make a little more of an effort to get to know him and so far, all I had given him was attitude.

This would be a good thing…I think.

* * *

 _Please review and let me know if you enjoyed, it really helps :)_


	5. Chapter 5

"What should we watch?" Hazel asked.

I broke out of my thoughts and turned to face her.

"Uhm…I'm always down for Gossip Girl." I said while cracking a smile. I knew she could tell something was bothering me. Except, I didn't even know what was bothering me so there was no way I could explain.

My new step brother has gotten under my skin and could you please refrain from any sexual activity with him? That sounds incredibly ridiculous.

She grabbed the remote and matched my smile. We both got comfortable and started watching the same episodes we have seen more times than I can count. Hazel always wanted us to be like Blair and Serena but I never felt like I could ever live up to their girlyness or their natural grace.

After almost 5 episodes, somebody entered the house.

"We're home!" It was the familiar voice of my father.

"Hey, dad! In here!" I yelled back.

Edward and my dad came in with several grocery bags and set everything on the counter.

"Being super productive during break, I see." My dad said while putting away the groceries.

"You know it, Sheriff!" Hazel got up from the couch and basically sprinted to the kitchen.

"Hi. I'm Hazel." She thrusted her hand to him and gave her best pageant smile.

"Hi. Edward." He took her hand in his and gave her a genuine smile.

"It's really nice to meet you. I've been wanting to put a face to the name." She said while leaning into the counter.

He only smiled back and continued emptying the grocery bags on the counter.

"I see you're finally awake, Bella." He looked over Hazel's shoulder to find me bundled up in blankets on the couch.

"Yeah, my beauty sleep was very rudely interrupted this morning." I said.

"Hey dad, Hazel and I are thinking of having a little Christmas party this weekend. Think you'll be home?" I asked while grabbing for a yogurt cup. Peach. My favorite.

"Oh, I was actually thinking of visiting Esme in Seattle for a couple of days so party your heart out." He gave me a smile and I knew he didn't mean it. My dad knew I wasn't a party girl. He knew me well enough to know that the parties were really Hazel's thing and I only enjoyed having the company while he was working late. It got so quiet here.

"Perfect." Hazel flipped her hair over her shoulder and looked at Edward.

"And of course, you're invited. I would love it if you met some of our friends." She kept that same exact smile on her face the whole time. I still, to this day, did not know how she managed to do that.

I rolled my eyes and walked away from the kitchen. I loved my best friend but she could be so cookie-cutter sometimes.

"I'm sure I could swing by…downstairs." Everyone laughed and I felt out of place. I wanted Edward there and I wanted to him to meet the people that we consider friends, but it just felt…off. Like I was bringing my favorite stuffed animal to show and tell.

"Ok, I'm gonna jet! I gotta meet my mom for dinner." She grabbed her Prada purse off the kitchen island and started for the door.

"See you Friday! If not before. Bye, guys!" And she was out the door.

I got a text almost immediately after the door shut.

It was from Hazel:

" _WOW. He is GORGEOUS!_

 _Make sure you heat the jacuzzi the night before!_

 _And remind Edward to wear a bathing suit! ;)"_

I rolled my eyes and threw the phone back on the couch. The jacuzzi was always heated and I most definitely would not be reminding him of anything.

I threw some olive oil on a pan and started cooking the drumsticks that they picked up from the store.

I boiled some water for pasta and waited for everything to cook.

"You cook often?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, I guess so. Mom used to cook a lot and I found an old box filled with recipes a couple of years ago and I've been cooking ever since." I kept flipping the chicken around and didn't make eye contact. It was still hard to talk about her. Which sounds unhealthy, given that it happened years ago but I just felt like if I talked too much about her, the memories would disappear.

"That's really great, Bella. I'm so glad you found a way to stay connected to her." He came up behind me and put his hand on my shoulder. I could feel his thumb caressing my shoulder blade and involuntary, every hair on my skin stood.

I mumbled a thanks and took a deep breath to calm my heart. I slipped out of his grip with an excuse to find some extra seasoning and opened the pantry. I could barely catch my breath when he asked,

"Do I make you uncomfortable?"

"What? No. Why would you ask that?"

"You just seem a little jumpy, I'm sorry if you don't like to be touched or if you just don't like to be close to people… I totally understand."

That was not it at all. It was the complete opposite. My skin was still on fire where he touched it and I fought every urge to not touch my shoulder where his fingers had been.

"No, not at all. I'm just not used to it, I guess." That was a lie. I was a pretty touchy person. I hugged everyone.

"Okay, that's understandable." He gave me a weak smile and didn't drop my gaze. I felt awkward…like I should say something but I didn't know what.

My dad had disappeared almost half an hour ago with talks about showering and maybe taking a nap. The chicken popped and crackled on the pan and I resumed my position in front of the stove.

Except, he hadn't moved at all and I was right back where I started. In front of him and a little too close for clear thoughts.

He touched my shoulder again and traced a trail down my arm to my fingertips. I gasped with the sudden tingles on my right arm and dropped the rubber tongs.

What was he doing? The sympathetic shoulder touch I could kind of justify but this wasn't a "ahh, I'm sorry about your dead mother, buddy" touch, this was a "I'm here, and I need you to know" kind of touch. It was a tease and I wasn't sure where he was expecting to take this.

I cleared my throat and turned around, with every intention of questioning his actions but right then, we had both heard my father's footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Well, I feel so much better." He said while taking a seat at the island.

"That smells great, Bells. I'm so hungry."

I smiled and watched Edward walk to the fridge to grab a water. I made a mental note to not drop this subject and prepared everyone's plates. We never really used a table to eat. Everyone grabbed their plates and took seats at the large couch.

I retreated to my room after dinner and finished a trilogy I had started a couple of days ago. With boredom and nothing to do, I lit a joint in an attempt clear my mind.

I knew one thing for sure, I was attracted to Edward. But I also knew that nothing could happen. I had fought attractions before. Guys that Hazel had already been with and guys who didn't like me back. I could definitely do it again.

I just wasn't sure If I wanted to this time.

* * *

 _Please review and let me know if you enjoyed, it really helps :)_


	6. Chapter 6

I woke up the next day because I was freezing. I had forgotten to close the doors to my balcony and went to bed in nothing but shorts and a tank top. It was getting really cold as we approached Christmas. The rain never stopped and today it was extra windy. My curtains were flying everywhere and the area right in front of my balcony was pretty wet.

I threw open the door to my room to step into the hallway closet for towels and stopped in my tracks when I saw Edward at the top of the stairs. He stopped to turn and saw me standing barefoot in the hallway. His gaze went up and down my body and cleared his throat.

"Morning…Bella. A little early for you, isn't it?" He walked toward me with a shy smile on his face.

"Yeah, I forgot to close my doors last night. Woke up freezing and my floors are all wet. I was just getting some towels." I stepped around him to reach the cabinets and grabbed 3 towels.

"Bella, you'll get sick. Here, let me help you. You should probably…get warm." Before I could reply, he grabbed the towels out of my hands. We stepped into my room and I reached for my favorite sweater.

He started laying the towels down and within a minute, my floors were dry. Luckily, none of my rugs got wet.

I took the towels and threw them on the floor outside of my room. We had a maid service to do laundry and straighten the house. One thing I was eternally grateful for, they came every other day and were the sweetest couple I had ever met. They had been married for almost 30 years and loved each other so deeply. I made a mental note to buy them their Christmas present.

"Thanks." I said flatly while stepping back into my room. He was looking outside my doors to the front yard.

"Your view is better than mine." He said while turning around.

I smiled and replied, "I know."

I felt awkward and didn't know what to do with my limbs. I hadn't even brushed my teeth yet and he was just here, standing in my room.

"I didn't know you…self-medicated." It took me a second to realize he was talking about the weed. My room didn't usually smell since I always had the doors open and candles lit but I hadn't put everything away from last night and had a half lit joint on my coffee table.

"Oh. Yeah, I don't know. It works better than anti-depressants and the mood stabilizers that they had me on after my mom died. I have anxiety and my appetite completely went away with the depression. I was almost 100 pounds 2 years ago, I'm back up to 120 now and doing way better." I didn't expect him to understand. A lot of people saw marijuana as a drug. I didn't see it that way, at all. It was medicinal, and it helped me in more ways than one. I wondered what my mom would think quite often, though. I knew she was in a lot of pain from the chemo, maybe she would have even benefited from it.

"No judgment here. I don't know much about it, to be honest. Never tried it myself." He gave me a devious smile and walked toward me. Or the door. I wasn't sure which was his destination, yet.

He stopped only an inch away from me and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"I'm sorry that you lost your mom, Bella. I'm so sorry that you had to go through something like that. I'm just trying to get to know you better. You intrigue me."

I locked eyes with him and didn't know what to say. Every question that I had in my head had suddenly vanished and my mind was completely blank. All I could think about was how good he smelled, a mix of amber and vanilla. He was within touching distance and I just wanted to run my fingertips down his perfect jawline and maybe grab his hair and then…oh my god, stop.

I cleared my throat, breaking the moment, and stepped around him.

"Thanks for saying that. I'm really doing much better. And thanks for helping. I'm gonna go brush my teeth and stuff, I'll see you later?" I walked towards the bathroom and shut the door, leaving him alone in my room.

I gripped the edges of the counter and turned the sink on. I splashed my face with cold water and dried off with a towel.

This was not good. Not good at all!

I rushed through my morning routine and went downstairs after putting on some fuzzy socks.

The house was empty and I was disappointed to see that Edward was nowhere to be found.

I boiled some eggs and cut up an avocado for breakfast and grabbed my iPad to start a new book. I didn't lead a very exciting life.

A couple of hours later, someone entered the house.

"Hello?" I called out.

Edward stepped in to the living room in nothing but basketball shorts and a towel wrapped around his shoulders.

Hazel was right, he was 'wow'. I knew he was in shape but I did not expect full-on abs.

"Hey, Bella. I was just doing some laps at the pool." He smiled and ran the towel through his wet hair.

"I'm gonna go wash the chlorine off, wanna watch a movie after? I'm starving." He started walking backwards, acting more casual than I could ever see myself managing.

"Uh, sure." He was already at the stairs before I could get a word out.

A whole movie. With Edward. The guy with the abs and the cute smile. Sure, this sounded great.

I rolled my eyes to literally no one but myself and opened the drawer full of take-out menus. I sifted through them and decided on Chinese.

I ordered extra for dad, too and returned to the couch.

He came back downstairs and fell back on the soft cushions.

"I am so tired. It's been a while. You guys got a nice pool back there." He smiled and turned his head towards me. His eyes immediately went to my bare legs and then back up to my eyes.

"Lazy morning?" He eyed my blankets and empty cup of coffee on the table.

"Yup, and I ordered Chinese. Hope you like it." I put my iPad on the coffee table and grabbed the remote.

"What should we watch?" I asked.

He wasn't close to me, at all. We were on opposite corners basically. But how did I still somehow smell his amazing shampoo? Or was it some sort of body wash?

Bella! It does not matter! Focus!

I scrolled through endless titles and waited for a suggestion.

"You can pick, I'm game with anything." He said while laying down. He had changed into black sweats and a grey short sleeve. I was beginning to think he didn't own anything that wasn't black or grey.

He put his arm behind his head and his shirt had a hard time not ripping around his biceps.

We settled on Pirates of the Caribbean and I sank into the couch. I snuggled the blankets up to my chin after lighting one of the candles and sneaked a peak at Edward.

He was already staring at me.

"You like things a certain way, don't you, Bella?" He smirked and crossed his arms.

He sure liked my name. I hated how good it sounded on his lips. I hated the way I wanted to hear it again and again.

"Yeah, I do." He was right. I didn't like change all that much and I loved the comfort of my own home. I was a privileged kid and I never took it for granted.

We watched the rest of the movie without exchanging any more words and only got up to answer the door for the food.

When the credits started rolling, I picked up the left over containers and headed to the kitchen to put them in the fridge.

He followed right behind me and leaned against the counter while watching me. He didn't even try to hide the fact that he was basically checking me out!

"Can I help you with something, Edward?" His gaze went from my hips to my eyes.

"No, not at the moment." He kept his arms crossed and his smile deepened.

"Then why are you watching me like that?" I put a hand on my hip and waited for an answer.

"I already told you. You intrigue me." He expected me to be satisfied with that answer?

"So, your solution is to stare? What about me intrigues you, anyway? I got some skin and limbs and some hair. Nothing new to look at."

"That is most definitely not true, Bella." He stepped closer to me and his nose was centimeters away from my forehead.

"Your hair, is the most perfect shade of crimson. Your skin makes me question the validity of my sanity. So perfect and smooth. So reactive to my touch. Your eyes, have an incredible aurora of pain and hope. A combination that I didn't think was even possible. Your cheeks, always flushed with a little bit of pink. Like soft little clouds. And that sweet smell I can't wash away…completely and utterly new to me." He took my chin into his fingertips and lifted my gaze to find his.

He smiled and cupped my neck with his hand. I was sure he was going to kiss me. I was also sure that I wasn't going to stop him. I couldn't, even if the house was burning down.

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"But I just can't lose control with you, Bella." When he opened his eyes, the hunger was gone and he stepped away.

He gave me a shy smile and turned around to head upstairs.

What the hell was I supposed to do with that? How could he say those things and just walk away? He made me so angry. I wanted to punch something and scream.

I had decided right then and there to avoid him. I will not let him get to me.

It will be me who doesn't lose control.

* * *

 _Please review and let me know if you enjoyed, it really helps :)_


	7. Chapter 7

Sometimes you get these feelings that you can't understand, control or harness. Pain is one of them. You can't understand it until you feel it. You can try explaining it with words and actions, but it means nothing and can amount to nothing- until that person experiences the same thing.

You can't will it to go away and you can't will it to come when you want it, when its convenient.

I learned this at a very early age. Panic attacks would strike at the times most inconvenient. In the locker room before gym class, in the middle of a conversation and even while everything seemed okay.

I can try to explain how it feels…the tightening in your chest. The blurry vision. The loss of gravity. But you just won't understand it until you live it.

I've tried understanding what causes them, tried controlling them and even tried pushing them aside. To no avail, they strike like a hungry predator and don't stop until quenched.

I always thought the source was my mother's death since they started around that time but now, I'm not so sure.

The triggers can be meaningless, or they can be reminders of a past life. The smell of pumpkin spice, the familiar feel of cashmere…or it can be as easy as staring at a blank wall.

I've gotten used to them, though. They've subsided and only really happen once every two months. But ultimately what I've learned is- I hate things I can't control.

This ultimately leads to anger, which in the end, is what causes the panic attacks.

So now that I've got this brother lurking the halls of my home…and there is nothing I can do to remedy my feelings, I'm angry. Like-all the time.

I can feel this little nagging shadow in the back of my head, urging me to go talk to him. To be around him.

Except I don't know why. I barely know the guy. His mother is still M.I.A and all I know about him is that he likes to swim?

Maybe that's my problem. He's too…mysterious in my head. I have to solve the puzzle. Maybe then, I can finally put these thoughts to rest.

I finally turn off the lights, put out my candles and wrap myself in my blankets. I don't know how much sleep I'll be able to get tonight but I can't wait for tomorrow to come.

* * *

 _Clank_

I wake up to a loud object basically crashing outside my door. I throw on my silk robe over my usual tank top and shorts and go to investigate but when I open the door, nothing.

I peek down the hall towards my dad's room and then the other way to Edward's but nothing. I reach the top of the stairs and see that the lights are on downstairs.

The large clock in the hallway reads 3:45am. _What the heck?_

I softly take the stairs one by one and hold my breath to minimize the noise as much as possible. I grab the baseball bat my dad keeps by the stairway and slowly make my way towards the kitchen.

Dad is working the graveyard shift and, in all honesty, I probably should've called Clay. But I wasn't living alone anymore and it seemed unlikely that any thief breaking into our house would make this much noise. In the Sheriff's house.

But still, baseball bat just seemed like the logical way to go.

I peeked into the kitchen to find Edward covered in flour trying to knead dough on the large island.

"What the-?" I set the baseball bat down and walk over to the counter.

"Bella-I'm sorry. I was just-well, I don't know what I'm doing, honestly. My grandmother used to make these cookies when I was little and I just couldn't sleep and I figured, why not? I know how you feel about the kitchen, I was going to clean everything up." He seemed panicked and was rushing to put everything away.

"Don't worry about it, really. I like cookies. What kind?" He laughed and looked at me, trying to find words.

"Pumpkin spice." His smile didn't falter and he went back to the dough.

My mom used to make pumpkin spice cookies, muffins, cakes…every year. It would smell sweet and spicy for days and mom would get it out of her system for the entire holiday season. We would not see a single pumpkin baked good for a whole year and it would just start all over again in October.

It was a terrible coincidence and I could already feel my breath shortening, my hands shaking and my vision closing. The lack of sleep definitely didn't help.

I tried swallowing, calming my breath but it felt like there was a fist lodged in my throat and the next breath of fresh air seemed so far away. I got up from the chair-or maybe fell, and collapsed to the ground. I tugged at my chest and within two seconds, Edward was at my side. He broke my fall and grabbed around my waist to hold me up.

"Bella? Bella, what's wrong? Are you okay?" He was searching my face for answers but I couldn't get a word out. I couldn't even hold eye contact. I'd had a panic attack in front of others before and every time, the embarrassment just made it worse. It lasted longer than they usually do.

"Are you having a panic attack? Look at me, Bella. Focus on my voice." He cupped my face with his hands and stroked my cheeks with his thumbs. After a couple more seconds, I was basically on his lap on the floor.

"Come on, my baking isn't all that terrible, I promise. I'll even taste it first, and I wont lie." He tried to smile and just held me closer.

I could feel myself get calmer with each second and grabbed his arms for support.

"I-I'm sorry. They just…happen sometimes. The pumpkin spice…it's not your fault." I started to break away from his hold, trying to steady my breathing, but he held me in place.

"Don't even think twice about it. I'm here for you." He hugged me tighter and I wasn't sure what to do.

I wanted to melt into him but I also knew that I needed to get up and put distance between us.

"Thank you. I think I'm gonna go back to bed. Good luck with the cookies." I gave him a shy smile and pushed away.

"Bella, are you sure? Maybe I can hang out with you a little bit, I don't think you should be alone…" He scratched the back of his and looked to the floor. He looked like a freaking movie star.

"Yeah, I'm totally good. I've honestly gotten so used to them. I should be good to go after I…medicate." I smiled and started heading upstairs.

"Do you mind if I join?" I turned around and gave him my best confused look. He was covered in flour and wearing an apron. He did not seem like the smoke-me-out type.

"Uh…didn't you say you had never tried it? Are you sure? I mean, I don't mind but it can be a little tricky at first…" I wrapped my robe tighter and crossed my arms.

"Yeah, I'm sure. Gotta try everything once." He gave me the same devious smile as before and I could have swore the electricity was back between us. I could basically touch the tension in the room and he inched closer.

I immediately turned around and headed for my room. I heard him take his apron off and pat the flour off his clothes.

Once we reached my room, I opened one of my doors and lit a couple of candles.

"Okay well…have a seat." I gestured to my small sectional couch.

He was hesitant but he complied and rested his palms on his knees. He was waiting patiently for my next set of instructions.

"So, this is a joint." I held up the little wrapped present in front of me and sat down next to him with my legs folded under me.

"I think this will be the easiest, you can take a couple hits and see how you feel." I lit the tip and started dragging.

I handed it to him and assumed he knew how to inhale. I guessed wrong.

"Okay so…I just take it and inhale?" He raised his eyebrows and took the joint.

"Yeah…make sure you inhale deep and then just let it out. You might cough a little but that's totally normal. You don't have to inhale that much, just start easy." I rested my head in my palm and waited for him.

He brought the joint to his lips and after two seconds, started coughing.

We both laughed at his reaction and he took another drag.

"Hmm…I don't think I feel any different." He handed it back to me.

"Well, people usually don't get high their first time. Plus, this isn't very strong."

After two hits, I handed it back to him. He had a little bit of an easier time but I could see his eyes getting a little red. I guess it was working, after all.

"Wow, that smells really nice." He closed his eyes and rested his head on the couch with a smile on his lips.

He was definitely high.

I laughed and we repeated the process a few more times.

"Seriously, it smells just like you. Do you just buy the same candle like a hundred times? I mean it's a nice candle, don't get me wrong."

He tilted his head towards me and saw me with one raised eyebrow and a smile on my lips.

He laughed at my reaction and turned his head towards the ceiling again.

"I can see how this is helpful. It makes you…happy. A little care-free." He put his hand on my thigh and closed his eyes again. I could feel his thumb stroking the inside of my thigh and it took everything in me to not jump his bones.

He was every definition of perfect. Understanding. Caring. Genuine.

"Edward…I don't know much about you."

"Not much to know. I do a lot of sports, which I guess is why I had never really tried weed. I don't plan on doing much at Forks, though. I want to focus on Biology this year. They're pretty heavy classes. My dad was basically a psycho. Kept coming in and out of our lives, I'm pretty sure he's schizophrenic but my mom won't tell me much. I was happy to meet Charlie. I'm definitely very happy to meet you. I like to write sometimes. Short stories and stuff. I like classical music. Don't really watch too much TV."

He turned towards me again and smiled.

"Anything you wanna know in particular?" He squeezed my thigh and I took in a deep breath.

"Nothing comes to mind, at the moment." I smiled back and held his gaze. We had finished the joint and I could already feel my muscles relaxing.

"Have you always had these freckles?" He rubbed the inside of his thumbs on my cheeks, then my neck and now my collarbone. He pushed the soft fabric of my robe down and my entire shoulder was exposed. His fingers ran down my arm and finally rested at my hip.

I could basically hear my heart trying to jump out of my chest. He squeezed my hip and scrunched his eyebrows.

"Why can't I restrain myself, Bella? Why do I want to touch you, always?" He traced lines down my thigh and stretched my legs on his lap.

He ran his palms up my leg again and squeezed my thigh. This time, he got up from the couch and pushed me down on my back. He was on top of me and slipped his hand under my tank top. He cupped my bare stomach and brought his face into my neck.

I heard him inhale and felt his warm breath on my chest.

"God, you're intoxicating. How can anyone withstand this?" He never kissed me but I felt his lips graze my skin a few times.

I felt…frozen. Like I always do. I didn't know what to say or do. I didn't want to push any more boundaries than he was already doing but I wished that he would.

"Edward…I think you're just a little high. Everything seems better than they are." I squirmed under him and he squeezed my sides with both of his hands.

His jaw tightened and he looked down at me. I could see the contemplation in his eyes and he closed them for only a second.

He looked at me straight in the eye and said, "I fucking wish that was the reason, Bella."

He grinded his huge bulge into me and I almost lost it.

I wasn't a virgin, but I had only been with two other guys before this. And nothing had felt this way before. Nobody made me feel like I was on fire and the only thing that could extinguish me was his icey fingertips.

He brought his lips to mine and I could basically feel their warmth but just as I was about to reach in, he pulled back.

"Bella…" He rested his forehead on mine and the next thing I knew he was pushing himself away.

I lifted up on my elbows and tried to catch my breath.

"I should go." He squeezed the top of my thigh again and left my room.

I most definitely was not getting any sleep tonight.

* * *

 _Please review and let me know if you enjoyed, it really helps :)_


	8. Chapter 8

I woke up the next morning around noon with no plans for the day. Other than getting a new pair of rain boots I desperately needed, I didn't have much planned for the break.

I had friends but it was just so exhausting trying to keep up with their drama. Who was dating who, who wanted to have sex with which guy…it didn't appeal to me. Last year, I was a bit of a party girl. I made out with more guys than I could count, mastered the game of beer pong and made sure to surround myself people to avoid feeling alone. But it never worked.

Up until this summer, I thought that it would always be like this. Nothing would ever be enough to make me feel whole and then something changed. I'm not sure what but I remember the feeling of wanting to get help- to get better. I realized that I didn't need others to feel content with myself. I don't even know what I was searching for…validation? Support? I figured out that I could give those things to myself without the help of party goers.

I spent the whole summer in therapy. I learned how to care for myself and adjust to finding solace in being alone. Taking baths, reading, writing and even yoga all help me feel connected to…me. It sounds like a bunch of excerpts from a self-help book, but it's been working. I'm not afraid to be alone anymore.

That being said, I do like spending time with most of my friends. Hazel and I have mostly guy friends that we're close with and we usually spend most of our time with them. Although, I had a feeling this party tomorrow would not be our usual circle.

I hadn't heard from Hazel yet and figured there was no reason to poke the bear.

I was feeling a little more cheery than I usually do so I went to the garage in search of some Christmas decorations. They hadn't been touched in a long time and I didn't even know where they were.

Lucky for me, dad liked to label everything. Up on the third shelf by the garage door was a huge box labeled Christmas. I yanked it down and started taking out ornaments and decorations. I was really just looking for lights, but I didn't expect to find so many memories. Old ornaments I had made in elementary school, some pictures of me and mom in front of a Christmas tree…we looked so happy. She really was so beautiful. Long auburn hair, green eyes and the warmest skin. She was a little taller than I am now and had such a sweet smile. We have so many pictures of her around the house but they haven't been changed in so long. These are…familiar- but new.

I made a mental note to look through more photos of mom…it was time to change up the pictures in the frames and it was definitely time to reminisce. I wasn't in the headspace that I was so many years ago, I could handle a few photos.

I finally found the lights and grabbed the photos too before I put the box back up on the shelf.

I weaved the lights through the staircase and plugged them in. Almost immediately, the house seemed warmer and I could almost smell the sweet aroma of pumpkin spice. I couldn't wait for dad and Edward to see.

Edward…where was he, anyway?

I just realized I don't have his phone number and don't really have any way of reaching him. After walking out last night, I wasn't even sure where we stood.

Obviously, he was attracted to me just as much as I was to him.

But where does that leave us? We're still technically step siblings. We still have a whole year of high school left before either of us can move out.

For whatever reason, that just did not seem to matter last night. I would have crossed every line if given the chance.

I went back upstairs to draw myself a bath and lit more candles than I could count. I turned off all my lights and drew the blinds to keep my room dim. It was rainy anyway so there wasn't much sunlight.

Once the water finally reached the edge, I undressed and threw in my favorite bath salts.

I always thought women who used bath salts were so pretentious. What's so special about them anyway? Well…I'm officially guilty of enjoying them a little too much.

I slipped into the tub and turned on the jets as background noise.

I needed to shake off this incredible attraction to Edward and I wasn't even sure where to begin. Everything about him felt so amazing. His touch, his smell…God I could literally come just from thinking about him.

In fact…this seemed like the perfect opportunity to maybe undo some of the tension. I laid back against the tub and tilted my head a little over the edge. I lifted one leg up on the edge and slowly worked my fingers down. I did my best to imagine what his actual touch would feel like. His hands…so much bigger. His perfect brown eyes staring down at me. I slipped one finger over my clit and rubbed gently.

He just seemed like he would be gentle…painfully gentle. I'm pretty sure- _what the?_

I heard two soft knocks on my door and someone clearing their throat. It was so gentle I could have probably imagined it.

"Yeah?" I yelled out.

"Bella? I thought I heard you in there, can I come in?"

Edward.

"Uhmm….Yeah. Come in. Just give me a sec." I slipped out of the tub and closed the doors to my bathroom. I grabbed the towel just as I heard the door open. I dried myself off with the towel and then grabbed the robe I was previously wearing. It was very thin and practically see through but it was either that-or the towel. I figured it was better of the two?

"Hey, what's up?" I wrapped my arms around my chest and tried to act casual. As if he hadn't had just interrupted my masturbating to his face.

"Oh, did I interrupt your bath? I'm sorry, I was going to ask if you wanted to come downtown with me to grab a couple things. I need some new jackets and school supplies. I can come back later though…no rush…"

His eyes were on every single inch of my body. The robe still clung to my wet skin and I knew my nipples would be piercing through the soft fabric if I didn't have my arms around them. First my hair, it was messy and half wet. My neck and collar bone…mostly exposed, and then to my waist. His eyes rested there for a second longer and then he found my eyes again. I could tell that he was trying very hard to keep his hands to himself.

He cleared his throat and waited for my response. It was obvious he felt just as awkward as I did after what happened last night. But I definitely will not be the first to bring it up. If we're going with the whole, 'ignore it till it goes away' thing, I'm game.

"Yeah, sure, I don't have any plans. Just give me like 15 to rinse off and I'll meet you downstairs?"

Was this a good idea? A whole evening with the one guy I was trying to stay away from…?

He nodded his head and looked down at me one more time. I started inching towards my closet and he didn't make any movements towards the door.

I opened the small door and stepped inside. It wasn't a huge walk-in closet but you could walk around the corner.

I grabbed jeans, a swear and some undies.

When I came back out, Edward was gone. I turned on my shower and rinsed off the soapy bath form my skin.

After I put out all of my candles, I grabbed some socks and made my way downstairs.

I found him sitting at the kitchen island with his phone in his hand. Come to think of it, I was pretty sure this was the first time I had seen his phone.

"Ready?" I asked while putting my socks on.

"Yup."

The drive wasn't too eventful. I let Edward drive my car and in no time, we were near downtown.

"I spoke to Charlie. He was able to sell my old car and I should be getting a new one soon." He looked at me from behind the wheel and gave me the most handsome smile I had ever seen.

I could tell he was referring to my bitchy attitude the first time we spoke and he asked me for a ride.

He looked different in the car. Sexier. Care-free. Maybe even dangerous.

"That's great." I smiled back and adjusted the heater. It was definitely getting warm.

I pointed at the only men's apparel shop in town and told him to park.

We looked through a couple of racks and decided on a simple black waterproof jacket.

Next, we hit the small Target at the edge of town and stocked up on school supplies. I grabbed pens and notebooks for myself, too.

When we got back to the car, it was already dark out. Although it was only 6pm, it felt so much later.

"I really like the lights, Bella. Did you put them up?" He glanced over at me again but this time it felt…intimate. Like we shared a secret between us and no one else could know.

"Yeah, I was going to ask you for help but couldn't find you." Not true. But I did wonder where he was.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I slept in and then went for a run." He stretched his right leg out and grabbed his cell out of his pocket.

"Here, put your number in. You can text me next time you need me for anything." His fingers brushed against my thigh as he placed his phone on my lap and I couldn't stop my brain from thinking, _anything_?

I quickly entered the digits and then called myself. I handed the phone back to him and wasn't sure what to say next.

"So…are you excited for this party tomorrow?"

He chuckled under his breath and I wasn't sure if he was being sarcastic.

"Yeah, I suppose I'll get to meet some of my new classmates." He kept his eyes on the road this time and did that thing that guys do when they drive with one hand on the wheel. You know? The one where you wanna just straddle them right there in the driver's seat?

"Right. Well, I hope you're ready. I'm pretty sure Hazel is going all out. She organizes these things down to a t. Party games, booze, lots and lots of truth or dare." I laughed at that last one. Too many times had I been burned with the dares.

"Wow, so its like your classic high school rager, huh?" He smirked while pulling up to the small stretch of road that led to our home.

We finally pulled up to the gate and I clicked on the remote to open it.

We grabbed all the bags and laid them on the kitchen counter.

"Wanna do something?" He asked.

"Like what?"

"Your dad should be home soon, we could make dinner." He was already walking towards the fridge.

"Yeah, that sounds great."

I washed my hands and waited to see what we had.

"We could do some grilled chicken and veggies?"

"Sounds good." I grabbed the chicken from the fridge while Edward started washing the vegetables.

I wasn't used to having someone in the kitchen to me, much less helping me prepare dinner. But it was nice. It felt like we had been doing it all along. Side by side.

Dinner was uneventful. We still had not talked about what happened the night before and it still felt like the tension in the room was tangible.

Couple hours later I heard a knock on my door.

"Bells? Wanna go for a run? I'm taking off early in the morning to see Esme."

"Sure, dad, let me change."

I loved our runs. This was how we caught up and made sure we spent time together. Although we didn't talk much during the run, we always stopped for coffee near downtown. We usually ran in the mornings but I liked running at night, too.

We ran all the way into town and then looped around the hill back to our house. A total of 4 miles. We started with short distance and eventually worked our way all the way up to 5 miles.

I loved running with him but I hated running in general. This definitely would not be one of my hobbies if I didn't get to spend time with my dad.

"Good night, Bells. My flight is at 5am so I'm gonna hit the hay. I love you so much, baby girl." He kissed the top of my head and I watched him walk back upstairs.

It had been almost a week last time I went for a run and my legs felt like jell-o. I grabbed a water and chugged it down as fast as I could.

I ran into Edward in the living room, reading a book.

"Hey, you." I said between breaths.

"Hey, how was the run?"

"Good! Why didn't you join?" I leaned on the couch and tried to stretch. I would definitely feel sore in the morning.

"Already went this morning. Next time, though." He smiled and watched me go through the motions.

"Sure." I smiled back and started walking up the stairs.

I called out a good night over my shoulder and could basically hear the shower calling my name.

I didn't know what to expect from tomorrow's party but I figured a good night's sleep couldn't hurt.

* * *

 _Please review and let me know if you enjoyed, it really helps :)_


	9. Chapter 9

Although I love sleeping in, I knew it wouldn't be an option with the party that was planned for today. I heard the doors to my room blast open and all at the same time, my curtains were drawn, and my warm blanket was yanked from my skin.

"You really need to stop doing this, girl. One of these days, I'm actually going to kill you!" I screamed at my best friend while struggling to re-wrap myself with the covers.

"Well, maybe if you actually woke up in a humanly decent hour- I wouldn't have to! Now, come on! We have to make some appetizers and make sure everything is ready to go! Chop chop!"

"What are you actually talking about? Are we not just ordering pizza and wings like usual? And I put up some lights yesterday! See! I contributed! That means I get at least an hour more of sleep." I gave her my best innocent smile and hoped that she would cut me some slack.

"Yes, there will be pizza. BUT, I also want to have some things to snack on. I invited a couple more people than the usual suspects and I don't know if it will be enough food. I don't want people to get bored." She sat at the foot of the bed and _actually_ managed to look like this was a major problem. Like if we didn't make some appetizers, the world very well could just end.

"Uuuuuuuuugh, fine!" I dragged out my words a little more than necessary and whined while moving to put some clothes on.

As soon as my feet hit the ground, I remembered our 4 mile run last night and immediately regretted trying to walk. I was sore almost everywhere on my body and it hurt to even stand.

Great.

I put on leggings and a long sleeve and followed my best friend downstairs.

She was going on and on about pigs and blankets and cucumber sandwiches and I still had not drank any coffee.

I poured myself a heaping cup from a fresh pot and went in search for the vanilla creamer. I usually had to make the coffee myself and since dad was gone, it must had been Edward that started the machine this morning.

I wondered where he was and what he would wear. If he would like our friends and the games we played. One time I had to make out with the curly haired, captain of the chess club, full on metal braces Thomas because I refused to go for a truth.

Another time, I had to jump in the pool from the rooftop. Make snow angels in my bikini. I could go on and on but I was known for my winning streak and had never backed down from a dare.

I wondered if he would find it annoying.

I was lost in my thoughts when Edward walked into the kitchen.

Hazel immediately perked up, straightened out her hair and fixed her posture.

"Hey, girls. Need help with anything?" He acted so casual and locked eyes with me. He saw the big cup of coffee in my hands and smiled deeply.

"I see you found the coffee."

"Yes, thank you." I smiled back in hopes that he would stop staring because I could feel the tops of my ears heating up and my skin flushing to a nice pink.

"Actually, yes, we could use a little bit of help. If I made a list, could you go grab some things from the store?" She was already grabbing a pen and paper and jotting items down.

Edward looked between us and smiled again. Did he ever not smile? Why was he so happy all the time?

Hazel handed him the list and he was gone just as quick as he arrived.

"My god, he is gorgeous. How do you not think about that jawline every second of every day?" She fanned herself with her hands and resumed raiding the pantry.

If only you knew, Hazel.

By the time Edward returned, there were several dishes and bags of food covering the counters and I had barely lifted a finger. Although I liked to cook, Hazel was much more efficient.

Before 3 o'clock, she had prepared 5 different appetizers. Cold pastas to bean dips.

"Ok, everyone needs to change! People will be arriving around 5!" She quickly took off her apron and started shuffling around to find her bag.

"Hazel, I don't need two hours to put on a bathing suit." Although it was still rainy and cold, we had an indoor pool and utilized it for situations like this. It was a huge perk and one that didn't go unappreciated.

"Oh…you're actually swimming?" She looked at me with horror in her eyes and continued to move towards the stairs.

I called out after her, "What does that mean, Hazel?! It's a pool party?!"

I gave Edward a shy smile and shrugged while moving after her.

"Well, I wanna do my make up and stuff. I'm going to wear a suit, but I don't want to ruin my hair."

"I see." I followed her upstairs anyway and instead lit a joint and sat by the double doors.

I read a book while she did her make up and curled her hair. She was ready to go just as our first guest arrived.

I quickly threw on my plain black bikini and a short t-shirt dress.

"I'm so jealous that you can just throw stuff on and make it look good." She pouted her perfectly glossed lip and turned towards the door.

I had no idea what she was talking about. My best friend was the most beautiful person I had ever met. Perfect blonde locks and impossibly tanned skin for living in the least sunny state ever.

It made no sense why she felt so insecure about her looks.

When we reached the bottom of the stairs, Hazel threw open the door and an ocean of people filled the foyer.

Literally at least 20 people walked through the door. I only knew about two of them that showed up.

"Hazel, who are these people?!"

"Well, this girl I went to camp with a couple summers ago is in college and I invited her and told her she could bring whoever. I guess she thought I meant, like- everyone." She shrugged and gripped my shoulders.

"I'm sorry, I'll kick them out before 10 and it'll be just our group, okay?" She twirled around and headed for the speaker system.

This will be an interesting party for sure.

I went around and locked all the doors while tying two jackets together on either side of the stairs to prevent people from going up.

There was already party music blaring from the speakers in every room and people were grabbing drinks from the make shift bar in the corner of the living room.

I couldn't spot any of our friends but I did see Edward chatting up with some girls on the couch.

I immediately started moving towards them even though I had no idea what I was going to say.

I sat down next to Edward and smiled.

"Hey, you. Where have you been? These two ladies were just telling me how good friends you were."

He gestured towards the two girls in almost identical outfits and flashy jewelry.

"Uhm…do I know you?"

The one on the right started bursting up in giggles and laughter while trying to push out words.

"It's me! How do you not remember?! She must not recognize me, so weird…." She placed a perfectly manicured hand on Edward's arm and continued, "Would you mind getting some drinks for us? I don't want to mess up your beautiful home, Bella."

She didn't even look at me while making this ridiculous demand and her friend just shifted in place with the same exact expression on her face.

"Actually, it's self-serve. Bella, can you help me with the food in the kitchen? Enjoy the party, ladies."

Edward took my hand and dragged me towards the back of the kitchen that was already filled with party-goers.

"Wow. Those girls were something else. I'm sorry." He smiled and started making himself a plate.

"So I thought this was a pool party?"

"Yeah, we usually let everyone get food and drinks and then head towards the pool. It's across the street."

It wasn't technically across the street. It was our own pool and it was across the wrap around drive way that we called the street, but it was on the same property, nonetheless. Probably about 20 steps away.

"Gotcha." He started scarfing down food and offered to make me a plate. I was hungry, and I immediately accepted.

"Your friend is a good cook, can't believe it only took her a couple of hours to make all this." I didn't know how to reply to his compliment, so I just smiled.

"You look amazing, by the way. Don't think I've ever seen you in a dress."

He set the plate down and put his arms on either side of my body, trapping me in front of the counter.

"T-thanks. You, too."

I wasn't sure how to handle this situation. Had he already been drinking? Why was he so on and off?

"I'm going to grab a drink, you want anything?"

I pushed at his chest, but he didn't move out of the way. Instead he leaned in closer until his lips were at my neck. I felt his hot breath pulsing against my skin and wondered how much longer I could take of this.

"I do… I want so many things from you, Bella."

Somebody cleared their throat behind us and Edward released me from his hold.

"Hey…come on, grab a drink and lets head to the pool." Hazel looked between us with pure confusion in her eyes and I could tell I was going to hear about this later.

Except, I wasn't even sure how I would be explaining it.

I grabbed a Jack and coke and headed towards the building covered in glass.

We had already set up another bar there, too.

Edward followed close behind with both of our plates.

I laid out on one of the pool chairs and finished the rest of my food while Edward sat at my feet and did the same.

Hazel was sitting next to us with her current boy toy, Alex, when Edward announced, "So, I don't wanna brag…but I'm really fast at swimming." He smiled and everyone laughed.

"So if anyone wants to challenge me, I'm up for it." He rose from his seat and looked around to see if anyone would dare.

"I have a better idea. Everyone, circle up." Oh, goodness. There was a good mix of people here. Some, our friends and some people we didn't know too well but most of the college students had already left when they found out this was a high school party.

Everyone quickly obeyed Hazel's command and before we knew it, there was a huge circle next to the pool.

"Kirk, Truth or Dare?" She had the most devious smile on her face and I was pretty sure everyone but Edward knew why. Kirk was the captain of the swimming team and although I wasn't sure if he was any good, I knew that our team wasn't the best.

Everyone smiled and exchanged their own mischievous smirks. I wasn't sure if Kirk would take up Hazel on this dare. I didn't know him too well and he could just as well pick Truth. But then everyone would know that he was a coward.

He crossed his arms and stood up, still wearing his jeans and varsity jacket.

"Dare."

Everyone cheered and hollered because they knew what was to come.

Hazel didn't even have to say the dare out loud and Kirk was already undressing.

Edward looked at me with confusion in his eyes.

"Kirk is the captain of the swimming team. His dare is to race you." I gave him a shy smile and was hopeful that he didn't back down or think this was lame.

He didn't disappoint.

"Fuck yes." He stood up and basically ripped his grey t-shirt off, revealing his perfect abs and happy trail.

He unbuttoned, unzipped and threw his pants on the chair. He gave me a wink then moved towards Kirk.

Both were wearing boardshorts and although speedos were the usual competition attire, this would definitely do.

Edward was lean and defined while Kirk was tall and a little lanky. He wasn't a bad looking guy but just a little too…simple, for me.

They both tied their shorts tighter and lined up next to each other at the edge of the pool. Hazel walked midway up the edge and unwrapped her silk scarf from around her neck.

"4 laps and obviously the first one back, wins." They both leaned against the edge and waited for her to continue.

"On my call, boys….Ready, set….GO!" Everyone was now surrounding the pool, cheering and hollering.

"Kick his ass, Kirk! Come on!"

"10 bucks on the new kid, did you see those abs?"

I finally peeked through the crowd and spotted Edward and Kirk pretty much neck and neck.

Everyone was screaming and I couldn't make out a single word. There was at least 30 people in here and from what I could tell, it was a tie. They finally did their final flip and were heading back to finish when Edward picked up speed, he was now almost a whole body's length ahead and pushing on. He finally touched the wall and popped his head out of the water, Kirk finally caught up and finished right after him.

Everyone was going crazy, exchanging cash and chugging drinks.

One of the sophomore girls jumped in the pool and pretty much everyone followed suit. Edward was talking to Kirk but I couldn't make out a single word they were saying. I sat at the edge of the pool and scanned the water for people I knew.

Everyone was having a good time, but I just didn't feel like socializing.

Edward popped up right in front of my legs with a huge grin on his face.

"You coming in, or am I going to have to make you?" He pulled at my feet gently and locked eyes.

"You don't scare me, Cullen." I pulled my feet back and stood up. I peeled my dress off and threw it on top of his clothes.

My bathing suit was not covering much and I could feel his eyes all over my body.

I ran as fast as I could and canon-balled right next to him.

When I popped up, he was smiling again.

"So, wanna race?" I laughed at his question and swam towards the floating donuts just outside of the pool. I grabbed a floating bed and saw that Edward had followed me.

"Ok I have a question." He grabbed the edges of my floating bed and waited for my question.

"Did you let him think it was a tie in the beginning? You seemed to gain some serious speed towards the end."

He smiled and replied, "I guess you'll never know."

He dipped his head in the water and disappeared. Two seconds later, my bed was flipped upside down.

He pulled me up with his arm around my waist and held me close to his chest. He could touch the bottom, but I couldn't.

Hazel broke us out of our moment and yelled out, "Are we continuing this game, or what?"

Everyone cheered and laughed and reformed the circle but this time, in the pool.

I spotted one of our good friends, Adrian and gave him a hug.

"Hey, dude! Good to see you!"

"Hey, Bella! That was some race, huh?! Poor Kirk was so embarrassed." He laughed and spit out a little bit of his drink. He was always the dorky one in our group and loved playing video games. He usually wore glasses and I wondered how he was able to see anything right now.

Just as I was about to ask, Edward came up beside us.

"Hey man! Sick swimming! You'll have to teach me some time! I'm Adrian, Bella's best friend! Ain't that right, girl?" He threw his arm around my shoulders and I could tell he was already drunk. Adrian didn't usually drink and when he did, he could get plastered from just two shots.

He did smoke with me pretty often, though. He had a severe case of ADHD and it helped him on days that he didn't have school since he hated taking Adderall.

"Nice to meet you, Adrian. I'm Edward Cullen." He extended his hand out and Adrian basically slapped it while trying to shake it. I giggled until my sides hurt and made a mental note to check on him later. He was definitely spending the night here.

"Ok, Kirk…You're next." Hazel lifted her red cup towards the captain of the swim team and gave another devious smile.

"Okay….let's see…" He gazed around the room, searching for his next victim. Everyone looked around, trying to act innocent so they wouldn't be called.

"Bianca."

She chose Truth and had to confess that she got lip fillers last summer.

The game hopped around all the seniors for a while and transitioned slowly to the lower classman.

"Hazel."

Adrian called on our mutual best friend and immediate started laughing. Whatever he had in mind was probably not going to make it out of his mouth if he kept laughing like this.

"Adrian, continue…." I said while putting my hand on his back.

"Ok, ok…Truth or Dare."

"Dare, duh." She replied while crossing her arms. She never chose Truth.

"Hazel, go make out…with Kirk!" Adrian could barely make out the words while still laughing uncontrollably. I didn't think it was all that funny. Hazel had already made out with Kirk on a previous dare. Maybe he didn't remember.

However, Hazel was now turning red. With rage? Embarrassment? I really couldn't tell.

She was sitting at the edge of the pool and motioned for Kirk to come to her.

She was rolling her eyes when they finally kissed and everyone cheered once again.

After about 10 seconds, she pushed him away and locked eyes with Edward.

"Edward. Truth or Dare."

Edward looked like a deer caught in headlights. He was still standing next to me and looked at me for help. I definitely did not have much that I could offer him. You either played the game, or you left. Those were the rules.

"Uh….Dare?"

* * *

 _Please review and let me know if you enjoyed, it really helps :)_


	10. Chapter 10

"Uh….dare?"

"Good choice. Edward, I dare you to pick the cutest girl in this building and kiss them." She raised an eyebrow and looked straight at me.

I rolled my eyes because this was such a middle school dare. Seriously, Hazel?

"Edward, you don't have to do that. We're not 12 anymore. Might as well make him prank call Walmart too, while you're at it." That got a couple chuckles from people. I stared back at my best friend and crossed my arms. This would only end in two ways: Edward would either kiss some other girl in this pool or he would kiss me. Both of those did not work for me.

"I vote for a re-dare."

Re-dare was basically a voting system where if the majority agreed, the darer would have to pick a different dare. It didn't happen too often but sometimes when things got a little too fucked up, people agreed.

"Fine. All in favor of Edward carrying out the original dare, raise your hand."

Nearly everyone's hands flew up…even Edward's.

He locked eyes with me and just shrugged.

"Kiss the cutest girl here?"

He turned back around towards Hazel to confirm and she nodded a devious smile.

Edward started scanning the crowd. Every single girl tensed up, fixed their hair and tried to look as attractive as possible.

I didn't understand Hazel's angle. Did she want to get kissed? Was she trying to call me out for almost catching us back in the kitchen?

He finally did a complete 360 and was facing me again.

"Unfortunately, the cutest girl here is my sister. So…"

Everyone gasped and started whispering.

"What?"

"Who's his sister?"

"Didn't he just move here?"

He never broke eye contact and swam a little bit closer. I couldn't breathe anymore. The water felt like thick Jell-O and it was hard to move my muscles. Edward saw my panic coming on and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"However, fortunately for Hazel, we aren't related by blood and I can complete her dare, anyway."

He spoke in almost a whisper, I could barely hear him. Or maybe that was because my vision was getting blurry and I was probably about to pass out from the anxiety.

"It's okay, Bella. I got you."

Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and leaned down for a kiss. As soon as his lips hit mine, I couldn't tell where we were anymore.

I'm not sure how long the kiss lasted. My body temperature rose and the only thing I could focus on was how soft he was. Literally everywhere. His lips, his arms…his thumb that was stroking my cheek. He deepened the kiss and his hand ventured lower. Although it was underwater, he still gripped my ass and pressed me closer to him.

I was so incredibly breathless. I wasn't even sure how I was still coherent enough to process what was going on.

I have never felt this way before. I was the one who lead the way when it came to boys. I called the shots and I was the confident one. But I had never been kissed in the middle of a panic attack. I also had never been able to come back from one so fast.

What was he doing to me?

When he finally pulled back, it felt like it had been only 2 seconds or maybe 2 hours.

Everyone was silent and I couldn't bring myself to look around. What did this mean? Would everyone judge us?

I heard a slow clap from Hazel's direction and when I turned to face her, I found the same cunning smile that I already knew was there.

She was content with herself, but I just didn't understand why.

Edward still had his arm wrapped around my waist and when he finally untangled himself, I heard him clear his throat.

"Well, that was interesting. Your turn, Edward." Matt splashed the water, looking bored and sunk in, letting the water engulf him. I'm pretty sure he was a sophomore on the baseball team but I could be wrong.

"Right. Well, I don't really know any of you that well. So, I guess I'll just go random."

His eyes scanned the crowd once again and as he was turning away, I started to swim towards the steps.

"In the blue shorts, Truth or Dare?" I didn't see who he was pointing to, but he picked truth.

I walked out of the pool and grabbed my towel.

I was done with this party. I was done with my so-called best friend and I was so fucking done feeling this attraction for Edward.

Maybe it wasn't as big a deal as we were making it out to be. He was technically an adult and was capable of making his own decisions. He didn't have to kiss me. He could've lied and picked some other girl who would have been all too grateful to play along.

So why did he put on a show?

This was getting too complicated. I grabbed my dress, pushed the doors open and ran towards the house.

The cold air was a slap in the face and I just wished the ground would crack open and swallow me whole. I picked up my pace and prayed that this night would just be over. I was flooded with emotions that I didn't know how to process all at once. Betrayal, attraction, desire, embarrassment…fear.

"Bella!" I heard Edward calling after me just as Hazel stepped out, as well.

"I just…I need to be alone, okay?"

I continued across the drive-way and ran up to my room.

I turned the shower as hot as it would go and waited for it to heat up.

"Bella?" Two knocks.

Hazel.

"I don't want to see you, Hazel. You fucked up."

I heard the wiggle of my door handle as she tried to enter but I had it locked.

"You don't think I know where the master key is? How many times did you accidentally lock yourself in the game room?"

I sighed and opened the door.

"What? Didn't create enough drama for one night? What is your deal? What was the point of that? To show everyone I'm attracted to my new brother? You're so fucked up, Hazel!"

I couldn't catch my breath because I was basically screaming at her. She just waited for me to finish and whispered, "I know."

"I just- I don't know. I have never seen you look that way at a guy before. Fuck- I've never seen you look at anyone like that before. Not even me. You trust Edward and you've only known him for like a week. I just wanted to prove to you that he liked you back, too. And that you were capable of feeling things for someone else. You've just been alone, for so long…" She seemed apologetic but that sounded like the dumbest excuse in the world.

"So…. you just had to make a scene in front of everyone? Instead of just…I don't know…ask him?! Or talk to me?!"

"I didn't think he would tell the truth. You sure as hell wouldn't, either. But I also knew that he wouldn't kiss anyone else. Pretty much all the girls have been all over him and he hasn't left your side, Bella. There's nothing wrong with liking him. You guys aren't related and honestly, I think your dad will agree."

I couldn't even comprehend what she was suggesting right now.

"Ok, so let me get this straight. In some fucked up way, you thought you were trying to help bring Edward and I together?"

"Yes! If you kissed in public, nothing would really get worse than the whole school knowing, you know?"

"WOW!"

I laughed out of pure rage because I didn't know how else to react. She was not being serious right now. What kind of fucked up logic is this?

"I can't deal with this right now, Hazel. You went too far. You didn't even try to talk to me about it first, you just acted."

I started closing the door, but she pushed her foot in the doorway.

"Probably. But you saw it, too. He pretty much kissed away your panic attack. He makes you calm. Makes you feel safe. And now, you know. Don't be afraid to feel it, Bells. I love you and I'm sorry I went a little extreme. I just…I've never seen you happy. At least not completely. I just got too excited. I hope you can forgive me."

She put her hand on my shoulder and then tucked my hair behind my ear. I was still too mad to forgive her just yet, but I did still love her. And I guess in some fucked up way, if she thought she was helping, I couldn't really hate her for it.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow, Hazel. I just need some time to think, okay? I love you, too."

She exhaled dramatically and put her hand over her heart.

"Phew, okay girl, call me as soon as you wake up. I'll clear everyone out."

With that, I closed the door and went in search of my hot shower. I wasn't sure what the consequences of tonight would be and I was not excited to find out.

* * *

 _Please review and let me know if you enjoyed, it really helps :) Not sure if I should continue the story..._


	11. Chapter 11

I woke up in a little bit of a haze the next morning. Although last night had been a disaster, it did solidify a few things. First, I definitely had feelings for Edward, and even though I wasn't sure what would happen next, I was almost relieved to finally be able to admit it.

Next, I was now also sure that he felt the same way.

Maybe,- _"You're kidding me, right?!"_

The yelling downstairs broke me out of my thoughts and I quickly changed to go investigate.

"I have been racking my brain trying to make you listen to me, Edward!"

Aubrey. How did she get in here- again?

"I thought I made it pretty clear that you were not welcome here, Aubrey."

I crossed my arms over my loose sweater and waited for an answer.

"This doesn't concern you. Go ahead and call your bodyguard or whatever, I'm not leaving this time." She rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to Edward.

"Yes, you are." Edward finally spoke up and locked eyes with me. He seemed apologetic and I was even more pissed now that the first time I finally got to see Edward since last night was because of this stupid chick.

"Aubrey, I'm not sure what you think you can change. You're the one that cheated on me."

"I didn't! Paul was really drunk and wouldn't leave me alone! You caught the ending of me trying to kick him off of me!" She was throwing her arms around and whining like a small child.

I heard another exaggerated sigh and Edward started to move towards the door.

"You had your shirt off? Next are you going to tell me that he tried to rape you? Did he also lure you upstairs? Perhaps he was also attacking you outside of the movie theatre two weeks prior to the party? I would be very careful with your next choice of words, Aubrey. My patience is running thin and this isn't funny anymore. Thank you for returning my stuff but you shouldn't have made the effort. Even if what you're saying is true, I simply do not have the same feelings I once did. I'm sorry."

Aubrey seemed frozen. She wasn't moving and from what I could tell, she probably wasn't breathing either. Finally, I saw a blink and then a gulp.

"Edward…" She whispered in his direction but probably realized that nothing she could say was going to change the situation.

She was actually really pretty. Prettier than I remembered. Her hair was up in a messy bun, she had on a long sleeve that hugged her every curve and perfectly fitted jeans. She had perfect skin. Perfect teeth. I couldn't find a single flaw on her.

"My mother will be home soon, I don't think she would want to see you here. Drive safe, Aubrey."

I could see the tears running down her face and even I got chills from the ice in Edward's tone. I didn't know he was capable of being so cold. Did Esme not like Aubrey, either?

She gave a small nod and exited out the door.

Edward ran a hand through his hair and shook his head.

"Bella. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. Not your fault."

"She said she was returning my stuff that I had left in her car and her room." He kicked the box by the door and made no effort to pick it up.

"Cool." I didn't know what to say and frankly, I didn't want to be talking about his ex-girlfriend at the moment.

"Did you sleep well?"

The warmth in his tone was returning and I could finally focus on his words again. His hair was messy which was unusual, and he sported sweats with a simple thin sweater. Black and grey, of course.

I smiled back and nodded while moving towards the kitchen. I was overdue for my cup of coffee. Just as I was passing him, Edward grabbed my arm and spun me around.

"This isn't how I wanted you to wake up. I was going to bring you coffee in bed. I'm sorry it got ruined."

He tucked my hair behind my ear and I could feel every single word in my tummy. It's like with every syllable, my stomach did flips, and I couldn't control the little cartwheels going around in there.

"That's…we probably shouldn't…Edward."

I smiled and looked up, in pause. What was I even trying to say?

"I know. I shouldn't have kissed you. Definitely not in front of all your friends right after confessing that you were my new sister. I just…I didn't want to touch anyone else. Not when the only person I can think about is you."

I waited for him to continue because I was once again, speechless.

"If you want, I'll leave you alone. I will completely understand, and we can maintain a simple brother/sister relationship. But…if you want this…if you want me- in the way that I want you, then I will also be happy to offer my services."

He smiled and wrapped an arm around my waist while pulling me closer.

I took a deep breath and tried to come up with a coherent response.

"Coffee."

 _Fail._

He laughed and let me go, "I'll pour you one."

I followed him to the kitchen and took my usual seat at the end of the island.

After taking a sip, I could feel the cobwebs clearing from my mind and tried to find the courage to continue.

"Services? Like friends with benefits?"

He was contemplating my words and scratched his head in deep thought.

"Sure, but exclusive. Exclusive friends with benefits."

"I'm pretty that's just a relationship." I laughed and continued to sip my coffee while letting the warm liquid ignite my bones.

"No. It's friends with exclusive benefits." He smiled a schoolboy smile and crossed his arms.

"Can I think about it? I don't want our actions to hurt our parents. Just because we couldn't control ourselves."

He frowned and moved next to me. Leaning in to the counter, his only response was, "Yeah."

We sat in silence while I continued to drink my coffee. He seemed to be in deep thought and I didn't want to interrupt whatever conundrum he was trying to solve in his head.

All I knew was I wanted him, and he wanted me. Except, he was my new brother. He also had a crazy ex. Was this worth all the trouble that we were getting into?

"When is your mom getting back?"

He shook his head as if he was literally shaking off a thought and replied, "Tonight."

"She texted me this morning, her and Charlie are coming back together."

"Yay." I was not excited to see his mother again. Something about her just didn't sit right.

"I think this will be good, Bella. She's been wanting to spend time with you, just didn't know how. I told her you and I have gotten…closer. She was thrilled to hear that we were spending time together. She seems less worried about you liking her."

He smiled and crossed his arms.

"Yeah, I don't know. No promises." I smiled and pushed back on the counter. I wasn't all that convinced about her sincerity but only time would tell.

I gave him a smile and went back upstairs to brush my teeth and get changed since I was still in my pajamas. I was just about to head back downstairs when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in."

"So…while you're thinking about our situation, can I just try one thing?"

He crossed the room in two easy steps and his arms wrapped around my waist as he carried me to the couch. He sat down so I was straddling his lap and I let out an involuntary shriek when he squeezed my ass.

Before I knew what was happening, his mouth was all over mine and I was fighting for my next breath of fresh air.

"Edward. Slow down."

"Sorry. I'm sorry. I just- I was downstairs and I could not think about anything except being up here and…" _kiss_ "and maybe trying to see what you were wearing" _kiss_ "and also seeing if I could maybe steal a kiss or two…" _kiss_ "without you noticing."

I laughed and pushed on his chest. His breath was intoxicating. His smile was like sunshine on the constant cover of darkness that trended in my world and all I wanted was to wrap myself in its warmth.

I took this feeling and I ran with it. I took my sweater off and continued kissing him. I heard him suck in a breath as his hands explored every inch of newly exposed skin. He quickly undid the clasp on my lace bra and sat back with hunger in his eyes.

"Fuck, Bella."

I tried to continue but he held me in arm's length and observed every possible inch of skin.

I grinded my hips into his already hard cock and he threw his head back against the couch.

"Okay…okay…you win."

He wrapped his fingers in my hair and pulled me close again. I didn't know how long we were just kissing. Minutes? Hours? Did it matter? This wasn't something I wanted to stop. I wasn't even sure this was something I _could_ stop.

My shorts had ridden up with each grind and my cheeks were mostly exposed, Edward had already slipped his hands under and was massaging my rear when a small moan escaped my lips.

He was kissing and biting my neck when he flipped me over on the couch and climbed on top of me.

"Now's the time to speak up, baby. If you want me stop, you gotta let me know now."

He continued kissing me in between breaths and it was getting even harder to think. I couldn't form any coherent thoughts. I wasn't even sure if I was comprehending everything correctly.

"Okay, stop. I haven't-I still want to think about this. This is a line we can't uncross, Edward. And I can't think any sane thoughts when you're this close. I just- I know I want you to continue…but…"

He sighed and nuzzled his face into my neck. I could feel his deep breaths finally returning back to normal after a minute.

"You're right."

He pulled back and sat up. He grabbed me by the waist and returned me to his lap.

For a moment, we just both stared held each other's gaze. I wasn't sure if he was feeling the same things that I was. The butterflies. The gravitational pull that I felt anytime I was near him. The goosebumps that just wouldn't go away. How was I supposed to ever stay away?

"I'll be okay with whatever you decide, Bella. But for what its worth, I have never felt more alive than when I'm with you."

 _Alive._

That was the word I was looking for. I had been walking around my life like a zombie, not making any decisions and not moving forward. I hadn't picked any colleges, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and most of all, I didn't want to.

Edward made me feel excited. Like there was something to look forward to.

"Let's go somewhere."

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck. I kissed his jaw, then the back of his ear…his temple, finally his lips.

He hugged me while pulling me closer and inhaled the small space in my neck… "I'll follow you anywhere."

* * *

 _Please review and let me know if you enjoyed, it really helps :) I would love to hear some feedback. How do you guys think Esme and Bella will get along?_


	12. Chapter 12

The rain had finally let up and I wanted to leave this house before our parents arrived.

"Dress warm."

I got up to change and watched Edward walk out with a smile on his face as he returned to his room.

His room.

I just realized I have never been in his room. I guess he hasn't had that much time to make it his own yet, but I was curious to see what it looked like. Had he moved the furniture around? Put up any posters?

I made a mental note to check it out when we got back.

He was back at the entrance of my room in no time and leaned on the door frame.

"Ready?"

I gave him a quick nod while grabbing socks.

"So, what's the plan?"

"We're going to my favorite restaurant and the next destination is a surprise."

I smiled and moved past him to go downstairs. I insisted on driving and within 10 minutes, we were in front of the best eatery in town. At least, in my opinion.

It's a hole in the wall Asian restaurant that has anything from ramen to fried chicken. I come for the ramen.

"You brought me to…China Palace?"

I give him my best innocent smile and head in. It smells like sweet and sour sauce and the waitress immediately recognizes me.

"Bel-la!"

I smile back as she starts to notice Edward walking in behind me. I hadn't really brought anyone here before except for my dad. Hazel hated it the first time I brought her, insisted that she won't eat anywhere without fabric napkins.

Edward waves a hello to Ming as she seats us in my favorite booth next to a window.

It's busier than usual and it looks like we just caught the afternoon rush.

"So, what's good here?"

Edward starts reading over the menu and I can see he's already confused. Most of the menu is in Chinese and even I have trouble interpreting everything.

I start to laugh as I move my menu to the edge of the table.

"I know it's not much but it just feels…comfortable in here. They have good ramen if you like that, or you can be basic and try the orange chicken."

I smile back as Edward raises an eyebrow in my direction.

"I'll have what you're having."

He closes his menu and neatly places his on top of mine.

"I'm dying to know where we're going next, Bella."

I am, too. I wasn't sure where we should go. I just knew I didn't want to sit at home and wait for our parents to arrive while anxiety ate away at me as each hour passed.

I smile back like I have a secret (which I obviously don't) and thankfully, Ming interrupts us just in time to take our order.

"The usual?" She asks while still staring between us with a devious smile on her face. She puts the notepad to the side of her face to try to conceal her expression from Edward and whispers, "He's cute!"

I roll my eyes because one, she does not need the notepad, nor have I ever seen her use one before.

Two, it is the worst attempt of anyone trying to whisper, ever.

"Yes, Ming. We're gonna have two."

"Okay, I'll bring for you. And some dumplings, you guys need some dumplings, I can tell."

She grabs our menus and walks away with a huge grin on her face.

I shake my head and try to gauge Edward's reaction.

"I can see why you like this place."

As soon as the words hit the air, we are both laughing in unison.

"I know, I know. Ming keeps me loyal, obviously."

There's a comfortable silence between us and I try to build up the courage to ask him the question that has been gnawing away at me.

"Edward."

"Yes, Bella."

"What will happen…if we do this and our parents find out?"

I feel like a small child asking if Santa is real. I know the answer, I just don't want to hear it.

Edward sighs and searches for an answer. I can see the wheels turning and his eyes are glossed over with genuine concentration.

"I've been thinking about that, too. I don't think your dad would be too happy with us living under the same roof. I don't know, Bella. There's a lot of possibilities and each one is as equally unpleasant as the next."

He folds his hands on the table and continues, "Honestly? I don't think they will find out."

"Your dad is hardly ever home, same with my mom."

I stare at his hands on the table and see a shrug from the corner of my vision. This doesn't seem to bother him as much as it bothers me.

"I just don't think I can lie to my dad like that. Even Hazel figured it out from meeting you just twice. It won't work, Edward."

He leans into the table to take my hands in his.

"Bella, look at me."

There's concern in his eyes, something warm and protective. Something I crave…something so familiar.

"It's going to be okay. I promise. Let's just…take it slow. We won't be lying if there's nothing to lie about, right? I still want to know everything about you. And there's still a lot you don't know about me."

Just as I am about to press for what he is referring to, our food arrives. The smell of broth and noodles surrounds me with the most comfortable feeling and I can already taste the warm liquid.

I make a mental note to question him later and break my chopsticks while stripping the stray pieces of wood.

Edward observes his bowl as he looks between our dishes.

"I've never had this before."

"Really? Well, it's basically just soup and noodles. Just eat like you would chicken noodle soup."

I start to slurp away at my broth as I can see Edward trying to take process the information.

"But there's an egg in here. In my soup…is it supposed to be there?"

"Yes, it comes with a boiled egg. Don't knock it till you try it! Come on."

He takes a sip at the broth and slaps his tongue around his mouth to make a show out of it.

"Hmm…not bad." He goes in for the noodles and immediately spits it back out.

"That's hot!" He's already chugging water as I'm giggling behind my huge bowl of ramen.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Have you never had soup before? They're usually a little warm."

"Ha-ha. Have your laugh."

I didn't want this moment to end. I wanted to be stuck in this memory until I was finally content enough to walk away.

I felt like I was living everything in slow motion. Like the other shoe was about to drop. I hated this feeling as much as I hated the thought of losing Edward.

I didn't mention anything that I was feeling, and we finished our food in comfortable silence. The longer the silence went on, the more I felt like I needed to break it.

"Edward…I just don't think I'm ready to have a relationship with your mom yet. I just feel like either we'll get along great and I'll be eaten alive with guilt or it'll be the opposite and we'll hate each other. I don't know which is worse."

I didn't want to make eye contact. I didn't want to see the expression on his face. I know it was selfish of me to assume what I could or could not be feeling but it was just something that had been bothering me from the start.

"I know what you mean. I guess we'll just have to take it one day at a time. It was hard for me to just leave my whole life and come here, Bella. But you have to understand that sacrifices have to be made for the people that we love."

I hadn't really thought about that. He did start his entire life over just to come to Forks.

"Okay, let's go home."

* * *

 _Next chapter Bella finally sits down with Esme...posted at 15 reviews :) Hope you enjoyed._


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note: I don't know what happened this morning, but I had a little bit of an epiphany. I thought I knew the direction I wanted to take this story but I think we're gonna spice it up a bit! I hope that's okay :)**

* * *

"Are you sure you want to go home?"

"Yes."

Edward gave me a content smile and we left the restaurant with my thoughts running a mile a minute. The drive felt really short and I wasn't sure if our parents were home yet.

It was afternoon and they weren't due until 5. Unless they decided to drive.

My heart was already racing when we got home and I was happy to find that they weren't here yet. I knew it was silly to be this nervous. This was just some woman. An ordinary person. Not just any person- Edward's mother. But nonetheless- she was only human.

I walked up the short distance upstairs to my room and change into more casual clothes. I heard Edward follow me up the stairs and I knew he was watching me. For my reaction? I wasn't sure.

"This will be okay." I say the words out loud in hopes that they would convince me, too.

"I already know it will."

He crosses his arms and leans into the doorframe.

Would his mother figure it out? Surely, she would notice that I can't keep my gaze off Edward's. Surely, she would notice the energy between us that was always just a little tangible, right?

Edward crosses the room in two easy steps and stops right in front of me, picking up my hands.

"What are you worried about, Bella?"

He holds my hands in between us, I feel trapped to answer. I feel like I owe it to him.

"I told you, I'm just scared that she'll see right through us. I'm scared that I'll like her. I'm scared that I won't."

Edward cups a hand on my cheek and brings my eyes up to meet his.

"Oh, Bella. My mom is much more open-minded than your father, I promise you. She will not be upset about this. I also happen to know that she will be okay with whatever you decide."

I pull my hands away to get away from him. He was too intoxicating to be near. He tainted my emotions and gave me too much calmness to suppress my anxiety.

"Decide? You think it's just an easy decision I can say yes or no to? Edward, I'm trying to explain that whatever ends up happening with your mother, I won't be able to control it. I won't choose to like her or hate her, it will just happen. My worry comes from not knowing which. I have nothing to prepare for."

I didn't wait for a response as I opened the doors to my balcony and walked outside. Fresh air sounded like the best idea right now.

"I see." I hear a sigh from behind me and turn around to face Edward. I lean on the balcony edge and wait for Edward to continue.

"Well then, I'm pretty confident that you'll like her. My mother has a charm about her that few can resist." He flashes a grin and continues, "Besides, I also happen to know that I'll help you through whatever guilt you may face from building this new relationship."

He closed the small distance between us and pulled me closer by my hips.

"It's going to be okay, either way, Bella."

"Yeah, hopefully."

I walked back inside and started lighting my candles.

"I'm going to take a bath, if that's okay. I'll catch you in a little bit?"

"Sure, Bella. Enjoy."

I started taking off the layers of clothing one by one as the water turned warm. I dipped in and tried to relax.

Just as the water was starting to cool, I heard the alarm for the front door.

They were here.

I quickly rinsed off in the shower and put on leggings with a sweater.

My feet were doing the work, really. My mind was completely on the conversations going on downstairs.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I heard noise coming from the kitchen.

"Hey, dad. Esme. Welcome back."

I passed Esme on my way to hug dad and squeezed tight. I had missed him.

"You guys hungry? I can heat something up."

"That would be great, Bells! We haven't eaten yet."

"Hey, guys!" Edward entered the kitchen with open arms and passed hugs all around.

I busied myself with grabbing plates and going for the pasta in the fridge. I divided up portions and started nuking them.

I was trying to not watch Esme, but it was hard. Edward was right, she had…an attraction about her. It was hard to look away, she was gorgeous. Perfect skin. Perfect hair. She seemed younger than my dad. A little too young.

We all moved to the living room once the plates were heated up.

"So, how was it? Raise a lot of money?" Edward sat at the edge of the couch and seemed genuinely interested.

Esme had her legs perfectly tucked beside her, like royalty. We were all sprawled out on the couch and she was sitting perfectly straight.

This is why she gave off a weird vibe. Did this woman own a pair of pajamas? Did she ever not have eyeshadow on?

"Actually, yes. Charlie was a great help. People really sympathize with the lone wolf sheriff. He was a hero at the event." Esme and my dad shared a smile, as if remembering something. I wanted to know what it was.

"Well, that's great. I guess you have finally met your match, mother."

Esme lifted her arm and placed it on Edward's knee.

"I was thinking the exact same thing, Edward."

So formal. _So ick_. I guess it made sense. Edward always spoke like he was from a different time. Perfect grammar. Impeccable vocabulary.

"I ran into Isabel, there. She said that Stephen will be joining us at the Autism Foundation next week. I'd love it if you could come, Edward. Stephen has been asking about you. And, you too, Bella."

She turned around to face me and folded her hands on her lap. Smiling so perfectly at me. It's strange. I can tell that she and Edward are related but something is just _off_. She seems way too young to be the mother of an 18-year-old. She seems way too young to be with my father who is nearing his late 40s. And how does someone not have a single scar, a mark or even a freaking pore on their body? No razor bumps, no cuts. Just perfect porcelain skin.

I snap out of my thoughts and try to catch the words that she is speaking.

"The Autism Foundation is a small office in California that does private behavior therapy for families that can't qualify for state aid. Edward used to volunteer there, we do the charity organization which is how they get funded. Do you think you'll be able to join us? It's next Saturday. You don't have to agree now, but please think about it."

She squeezes Edward's hand and rises.

"I'll be there, mother."

"Excellent. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to try to wash the airport off my skin."

She gives us a small nod and turns to head for the stairs.

Edward bounces off the arm of the couch and takes a seat next to me. I can feel him look from me to my father and then back to me.

"So, that wasn't so bad, right?" Dad claps his hands and looks at me with genuine concern in his eyes.

"No, not bad at all." I cross my arms and stare at my dad. How did he know I was worrying about this? Did he actually know me that well?

"Did you talk to my dad?" I ask Edward with an accusatory voice.

"I may or may not have caught them on the phone right before their flight."

He avoids my eyes and looks at my dad.

"Edward just mentioned that you weren't too excited about seeing Esme again."

"I didn't say that!" I smack Edward on the arm and continue,

"I was just nervous, that's all. What's wrong about that? A normal kid wouldn't be worried about spending time with their brand new step-mom? It must be because my mother just died, right? God, you treat me like I am some broken glass! Can I have a single private thought, please? Without you guys discussing it and calling my therapist with the newest transcribe?"

I jump out of my seat on the couch and storm upstairs. So incredible. All the progress that you have made just means nothing once somebody thinks that you're broken. Like you could never be fixed. Never be better.

I shut the door to my room and lock it for the first time in years. This has to end. There can't be anymore conversations between my family members and my therapist without me knowing about it. I'm an adult. No longer a 12-year old who doesn't know how to interpret their feelings.

I call my therapist in hopes to catch her before she leaves for the day.

"Bella? How can I help you? I hope you're not cancelling."

"No, actually, I wanted to talk to you about something. I know that you and my father speak very regularly. Well, lately he's been making decisions regarding me and not including me in them. I just turned 18 and I would like it if the conversations with my father stopped. At least not private ones. You guys are welcome to talk when I am present in the conversation, but I don't like being left out of conversations that are regarding my well-being. Since I am the one who knows _MY_ well-being. I hope this doesn't sound too harsh, but I wanted to make it clear for my next session."

I hear a loud exhale on the other end of the line as Mrs. Tate clears her throat.

"Bella, I think you are absolutely right. I've been waiting for you to take control of your future and our meetings. I'm so glad that you feel this way. You have nothing to worry about, I will talk to your father the next time he calls. Agreed?"

"Yes, thank you, Mrs. Tate. I really appreciate it."

"Take care of yourself, Bella. I'll see you soon."

"You, too."

I let out a breath that I was holding and finally start to relax. She was right. It felt good to take control.

I step out of my room to try to find my dad and see the light on under my father's door. I knock and wait for a response. Nothing. I usually barge in if he doesn't answer but with Esme, it doesn't really feel right.

"Dad? You in there?"

With no response, I start to open the door. There's suitcases open on the floor and the shower running in the bathroom.

I'm curious.

I'm curios about Esme and what she has tucked away in the corners of her new closet. I walk up to her vanity and peek inside her purse. I can't stop myself. I realize that my father could walk in at any time. Or Esme could finish her shower.

I open her wallet and look inside the perfectly organized rows of cards.

I'm not sure what I'm even looking for. Something out of place. Something suggesting that she might be hiding something.

Just as I tuck the wallet inside her purse and turn, Esme shuts off the water. I start to walk towards the door when she steps out covered in a towel.

Her skin glows when she walks in front of the window next to the bathroom entrance. Like literally _glows_. I blink and look again, but it's gone. She is already past the window.

"Oh. Hi, Bella." She clutches at her towel and seems uncomfortable. She glances back to the window and looks at me with a perfect sea of calm in her eyes.

I blink again and clear my throat.

"Sorry. I was looking for my dad. Thought it was him."

I race out of the room and shut the door behind me. That was not some normal glowing. That was like the glitter that Hazel liked to put on her shoulders before a concert. Except she had just come out of the shower.

 _What?_

* * *

 _I hope you're enjoying so far! Please leave a review :)_


	14. Chapter 14

I'm pretty sure this wasn't a trick of the mind. I'm pretty sure I just saw actual glitter on Esme's skin. It was odd, the sunlight hit her perfectly and then it disappeared the second she stepped away.

I must be delusional. This is just an odd reaction to the high levels of stress that I have been exposed to these last few days. That _must_ be it.

I retreat to my room for the rest of Saturday for some much needed relaxation. I scroll through the bestsellers on my iPad and struggle to find a good story to read. My head is cluttered. I feel anxious. I feel like something is about to happen, but I don't know what. I don't know whether it will be good or bad. I don't know what to prepare for.

The room is too warm, then too cold. I can't decide whether to tie my hair up or leave it down. Is that the bathroom fan?

I am distracted with everything around me and so I do the only thing logical at this point.

I jump to my feet, check the time, and call up my best friend.

"Bella? Oh thank god, you're talking to me. Are you okay?"

Hazel answers on two rings and I am met with the much needed therapy session I needed.

"Ugh. Hazel I'm so over last night. It's fine. Can you just tell me that I'm not crazy?"

"I mean, I can't tell you lies, Bella." I hear her snickering and visualize her throwing her locks over shoulder.

"Ha-ha. Esme is just…weird. I don't think I've seen anyone with better posture. Seriously, who has that type of self-control?" I twirl my hair around my finger and contemplate telling my best friend what I saw. I'm sure that she would just think I'm crazy. I mean, _I_ feel crazy.

I needed to get Esme in front of a window again.

"Bella, what are you talking about? She's probably just…elegant? Leave her alone and tell me what's really bothering you."

I go back and forth what the conversation would sound like if I told her.

" _Come on, Bella, even if she did sparkle or whatever, what would that mean? That she's a witch? I mean, I wish I could sparkle like that."_

" _Hazel, be serious right now."_

" _You're being crazy!"_

I sigh into the phone and change the subject.

"I took Edward to China Palace."

"Whoa, what? Did he get ramen? Do we approve of his order?"

I laugh in response to my best friend's silly loyalty points.

"Yeah, I ordered for him. I think he liked it. He thinks Esme and I will hit it off. Said she's very 'open-minded', what does that even mean, Hazy?"

"I don't know, I mean, I guess any one is considered open-minded next to your dad. He probably just meant that she's easy to get along with."

"Yeah, I guess so. Thanks, girl. Just a weird situation over all."

"I gotchu, Bells. See you Monday? I can't wait to get our new schedules." I heard her shriek to the phone and ended the call.

New schedule meant new classes and new teachers. I was excited, too. Edward had mentioned that he was taking Biology classes at Fork. I was signed up for Plant Biology next semester, I wondered if he would be in it. I also wondered if he would be in Advanced Biology.

Sighing to myself, I got off the small sectional in my room and headed downstairs. It was a little after 7 and the munchies were getting real.

"Hey, Bella. I really hope you'll forgive me. I just mentioned it to your dad as more of a warning, like maybe to tell my mom to be on her best behavior. I didn't mean it in a way to alarm your dad."

My dad was sitting on the couch in the living room while Edward was sitting at the island in front of a laptop in the kitchen.

"It's okay, he'll have a harder time of making decisions without me now." I opened the fridge and considered snack options. Settling on Greek yogurt, I turned around and headed for my room.

Hearing footsteps behind me, I left my door open and waited for Edward to enter in after me. I had a feeling he didn't say all that he needed to say.

"Bella, I'm being serious. I don't want you think that you can't talk to me anymore. I swear I won't tell him anything from now on."

It was hard to stay mad at him, but I still felt betrayed. Almost ridiculed.

"Edward, it's okay. Just don't think I can continue to have the same trust. Give me some time."

I waited for him to respond or maybe even leave but he didn't make a move. He stood in the door frame and stared at my figure.

"I just can't accept that answer, Bella."

He quietly shut the door behind him after glancing down the hallway and took two long strides toward me. Backing me up towards the back of the couch, he locked me in with both arms at my sides.

"You know I meant you no harm. There is no reason to feel distrust towards me. I just care about you, more than I care to admit for someone I've known for only weeks."

He brought his lips to my neck and I felt every trickle of breath with each word.

"Edward…I just…I don't know. I don't know anything."

I shook my head and leaned against the couch. Edward turned his words into a trail of kisses down my throat. I leaned my head back to give him better access and he worked in small moves, coming all the way down to the entrance of my valley.

A small moan escaped my lips and he brought his hands to cup my hips.

"This is the only way I want you to feel about me right now. Can you do that for me, please? Will you please forget my stupid decisions?"

A boy who knows his 'please' and 'thank yous'. How can you not be enamored by him?

Pulling my tank down the middle of my body, he continued to suck on the skin just next to my nipple.

The heat was too much. This…electricity, was too much. He made me feel ignited. Small goosebumps that tingled with every touch, scattering around every inch of my body. Euphoria was the only way I could explain it. Again, one of those feelings you can't describe, you have to experience.

"If I say okay, will you step back, please?"

Edward lifted his head in confusion, I felt his arms come around me as he pulled me back up right.

"You want me to leave?" He had an expression in his eyes I had never seen there before.

Pure hope. He was pleading me to say no. I didn't want him to leave. I just needed space to breathe. The lack of control was already firing up my anxiety and this state of euphoria is just not helping. I feel completely drugged.

I push away at his chest and step off to the side.

"No, please stay. Can I just have a couple of minutes?" I walk backwards towards my bathroom and shut the door behind me.

What was bothering me so much? That Esme happened to glow a little in sunlight? So what? She probably just had some great skin.

Was it my fathers constant need to adjust my life without telling me? I had already solved that problem.

I splashed my face with cold water and walked back into my room after drying off. I found Edward sitting on the edge of the sectional with his elbows on his knees.

"I'm afraid I'm having a pretty boring evening. Are you ready for school on Monday?" I try to lift the mood and am glad when he eagerly follows along.

"Yes. I'm ready for the student body of Forks High School." He smiles to my lips and pulls me closer by the hips.

This was definitely a feeling I could get used to.

With a devious smile I feel against my skin, I hear him say, "I hope you'll give me a personal tour."

* * *

 _I really hope you're enjoying so far! Please please leave a review :)_


	15. Chapter 15

It's the last Saturday before the first day of the term and all I want to do is relax and maybe finish my book. It was getting interesting but unfortunately, I had the biggest distraction in front of me. He was kneading the sides of my hips with his long fingers.

"Edward, your mom or my dad could walk in any second." Not true. My dad never came in my room. I doubted Esme would be stopping by any time soon, too.

I sighed and tried to take a step back. His grip on me tightened, _really_ tightened.

"Just…let me have this moment." Edward was still sitting at the edge of my sectional when he started to bring his hands higher on my body, rising while also gazing.

His hands were in my hair, his nose in the crevasse of my neck. I could hear him inhale and his eyes closed as he brought me in for a tight hug.

"Edward, I can't breathe."

He chuckled and immediately released me.

"What am I supposed to do, Bella? Pretend you don't exist? Pretend you're not the biggest temptation I have ever laid my eyes on?" He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath, "Do you want me to go?" he asked.

"I don't know. If you stay, nothing good will come of it except guilt." I looked down and hoped he would understand.

He knew I was right. What I wondered was why he didn't feel the same. Did it not bother him that we could get caught? How was he so okay with betraying our parents? He didn't care at all.

"I'm sorry. You're right. I just have never had to fight feelings this strong before."

He put his hands on my shoulders and stepped to the side, walking towards my door.

"Maybe we should hang out downstairs?" He called over his shoulder, but I had no intention of running into his mother again.

"Actually, I was hoping to finish my book. Raincheck? I'll see you at breakfast, it's already getting late." I didn't usually go to bed until midnight and I was hoping he wouldn't push. I wanted to rid my body of the anxiety that it was laced with all day. I wanted a couple of simple hours to just calm myself down.

"Sure, Bella." I could tell he was disappointed. He wanted a black and white answer from me. While he was right, that both of our feelings were strong, I couldn't expunge the image of my father from my mind every time Edward was near.

The guilt was going to eat me alive. Especially if my dad really, truly, loved Esme. It would make everything so much more complicated. So much more impossible.

I watched Edward walk out my door and was glad he shut it behind him. First order of business, I rolled out my yoga mat and started simple stretches. I had so much tension and stretching always made me feel better, physically and mentally.

I went through the simple flows: downward dog, low push up…my mind kept wandering to Edward.

How can it not, Bella? I basically had a super model of a new brother and he just happened to be completely enamored by me.

There was so much drama for the simple life that I had fought so hard to create for myself. I knew something had to be done, that I would just continue to spiral if things didn't return to normal soon.

I continued onto more vigorous poses, each time pushing myself as hard as I could. I needed a good distraction. Junior year was about to end, and I had no idea what I would do next year. I still had not made any decisions regarding my future and I was scared as hell to make the wrong choices.

My mind drifted to the school announcements from the beginning of the year. One of them was information on graduating early. I could do it, I had the credits and I was confident I could pass the exit exam. It would simplify my situation with Edward, but I would miss out on senior year, prom, and everything that went with it.

I weighed my options. I didn't particularly enjoy school activities, but I knew that Hazel would chop off my hand before she let me move on without her.

Sighing to myself, I decided that was not the best option. Running away never was.

I finished my poses and started to put away my mat. Whatever solution that I needed, I was not going to be able to find it tonight.

I turned on the water to my shower and stepped away to smoke. Already feeling more relaxed, I reminded myself that the universe will handle it. It always did. Everything happened for a reason. I had to believe that. Because if I didn't, that would mean my mother was dead for no reason. That I had been hurt and crippled for no valid purpose other than sheer dumb luck. Or lack of it.

No-the universe did have a plan because if it doesn't then that would mean that every single decision, every kiss, every death and every single god damn breath would be for the sheer irrelevance of my existence.

I stepped in to the shower and hoped that sleep would come soon. I needed today to be over. Too much depth in my thoughts are already clouding my true problem. I had a stepbrother I wanted to share a bed with.

* * *

 _I really hope you're enjoying so far! Please please leave a review :)_


	16. Chapter 16

Sunday wasn't any better. I was actually convinced that nothing would ever get better. Until my best friend called me right after breakfast.

"Get dressed" was all she had said before hanging up.

She was exactly 8 minutes away. Don't ask me how I knew.

I had only seen Edward for a brief moment before he stepped out for a run. This guy exercised more than anyone I had ever met. "Bella…" was all he had murmured before his hand grazed my lower thigh and he walked away.

Our parents were nowhere to be found. My father, probably on some call and Esme…who knew? What did that woman do on Sunday mornings?

I hurried upstairs to change into black skinny jeans and a simple sweater. I threw on my coat over the ensemble and made my way downstairs to put on my boots.

I had 2 minutes before she was here. Just as I was beginning to put on my second boot, I heard the beep for the security gate.

I smiled to myself and appreciated my best friend's predictability. She was still normal. I needed consistency right now. Stability.

I watched her pull up to the wrap-around drive way as I pulled my front door shut. She got out of her car and I couldn't help but run over and hug her. I needed so many hugs.

"Hey, beautiful!" She reciprocated my embrace and hugged me tighter. She knew exactly how I felt, already.

I gave her a sheepish smile and exhaled a big breath I didn't know I was holding.

"I'm so glad you called, Haze. I need some girl time."

"I know!" She looked up, like a perfect princess, and smiled knowingly at her lucky stars. Hazel had lucky stars that she _swore_ told her secrets about the people she loved. She was corny as hell like that.

We drove to the small mall about 20 minutes away and I was actually excited to pick up some new clothes.

"So….tell me what's bothering you, Bella. I'm dying here! I mean-besides being in love with your new brother." She chuckled to herself and gazed over.

I punched her in the arm and rolled my eyes.

"Nothing is going on! That's the problem! I can't move forward knowing that I'm doing something that could hurt my dad in the end. I can't just call it off, either. For the sake of my own sanity, I just keep trying to freeze the situation! How can you freeze a situation, Haze? Well, let me just tell you, you can't! I just need time to figure all this stuff out and everything is going a mile, a minute."

I crossed my arms and relaxed into the seat. I knew she would understand. Hazel would make everything simple again. That's what she did, she was a problem solver.

"Well, Bella. I think you should just call it off. At least, for now. Like you said, your father is not going to be happy about this. You're going to have to wait until both of you are out of the house to even see if this could work. It doesn't make sense to sacrifice your relationship with your dad if you don't even know that you and Edward will be happy in the end."

She gave a small smile and looked over. She was definitely speaking the truth. I didn't see a clear way out of this, either.

"Why did you push so much at the party, then?" I stared out the window and waited for her answer. I thought she would encourage the whole thing with Edward.

"I don't know… I guess I just wanted to get a reaction of you. In a good way. I feel like you have been walling yourself off from the rest of the world. And the only people you let in are me and your dad. I just wanted you to see that you could trust someone else."

There was a silence between us after. Both of us lost in our thoughts. Both of us hoping for clarity.

We pulled up to the parking lot and I got out knowing that I wasn't going to be able to focus on anything. At least tomorrow was first day of school. That would be a very welcome distraction.

We began with the usual stores we went to. I bought 2 new sweaters and was already getting hungry.

After eating, Hazel drove us back to my house.

Entering the driveway, I went over all of my options in my head. Everything that would change and everything that would fall apart.

I was going to talk to Edward and let him know this had to stop.

Simple.

I opened the front door and was met with the smell of freshly baked bread.

"Bella? In the kitchen!" Edward called out from down the hall and I waited for Hazel to catch up.

"Hey, Edward." Hazel smiled with her perfect teeth and I was already starting to feel the beginning of a headache.

"Oh. Hi, Hazel. I didn't realize you'd be coming over. How are you?" Edward beamed back and started to cut a fresh slice of bread.

"Good, good. Thanks for asking. Whatcha got there?"

She took my usual seat at the island and I was left feeling even more awkward than before.

"I picked up some fresh bread from the bakery. Did you know there is a bakery in Forks?"

"Duh." Hazel started curling her hair around her finger.

As if my best friend would indulge in carbs the day before the first day of semester.

I reached in to grab a slice and then turned towards the hallway to go to the comfort of my room.

Whatever conversation I needed to have Edward would definitely be a private one. And knowing my best friend, she won't be leaving for a few more hours.

I reached the entrance to my room when I heard Hazel coming behind me.

"So, what are you wearing tomorrow? Ugh. Don't even answer, I already know what you're going to say." She rolled her eyes and waved her hand over her shoulder.

" _I don't know yet."_ She tried to imitate my best 'don't care' tone and pushed her way through the door.

I laughed to myself because that is exactly what I was going to say.

We shut the blinds and rolled out my TV.

Some Gilmore Girls would cheer us both up. I wasn't sure if my life would have been different if it was my mom that was alive instead. Would we be like the Gilmore girls? Mother and daughter against the world?

I couldn't help but wonder what I have missed out on. What I will miss out on. I'll never get to talk boys with my mom. Or ask her for advice. I was stuck with the advice of a very well groomed 17-year-old. Not that I didn't love my best friend, I yearned for the wisdom that only a mother could have.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't even hear the knock on my door.

Hazel looked at me and answered, "Yeah?"

"Bella? I was wondering if you and your friend wanted to have dinner with Edward and I."

Esme.

I raised an eyebrow at Hazel hoping that she wouldn't be down. But I already knew she wanted to get to know Esme better.

"I would love to join you guys." Hazel called out and we both got up to stretch our legs.

I shouted back that we would be right down and crossed my arms.

"I don't want to have dinner with them. My dad isn't even home yet."

Hazel folded up the blanket we were using and kept walking towards the door. Foolish of me to think that I could talk her out of it.

"It's okay. I'll do most of the talking and make sure the topic is off you, okay?" She rubbed my arm and gave me an assuring smile.

Except I wasn't assured. I was annoyed. Scared. Anxious. My skin felt like it had creepy crawlies on it and I for sure knew I wouldn't even be able to eat much.

Great.


	17. Chapter 17

"It's so nice meet you, Hazel. I'm Esme." My best friend smiled back to my new step-mother.

Step-mother. So strange.

Esme had made a simple dinner of chicken fettucine alfredo with salad. Edward sat across from me while Hazel was to my left and Esme to my right.

"Looks delicious, Esme. Thank you."

"Oh, thank you, Hazel. I gotta say, it was more difficult trying to find everything in the kitchen than actually cooking!" She smiled with no teeth and I felt my insides churn.

Haze was always so good at making small talk. I never understood the point of such pleasantries.

"Edward, are you ready for school tomorrow? We already got our schedules, do you have yours?" Hazel was talking in between big gulps of water. I could tell she was nervous, too, but she was much better at hiding it.

"No, I don't. The office told Charlie that it would be ready for pick-up tomorrow. I guess I'm a little nervous but I don't usually struggle with making new friends."

He smiled to his mother as if they had just shared a private joke. So strange!

"Is my dad still at the station?"

"Yes, Bella. I'm afraid he will be there rather late tonight. He said there was some trouble being caused a town over."

I nodded in response and continued eating. The faster I ate, the faster I could retreat upstairs.

"So, Esme, what do you do? Edward says you do a lot of fundraisers?" Hazel was already halfway through her meal and fully ready to drill my new step-mother. Maybe one good thing would come out of this dinner.

"Yes, actually. More like an organizer. I am an event organizer/manager. But I only do fundraisers. Companies reach out to me if they need help reaching a broader audience and I share my guest list with the right crowd. I try to only help the non-profit organizations, but I also try to keep my options open. You just never know where you'll meet the right people." Another glance at Edward.

She smiled her perfect teeth and waited to see if Hazel was satisfied with the answer.

"That sounds great. I would love to go into event planning. I love organizing things in general."

That earned a chuckle from me.

"That's not a bad idea, Haze."

Everyone at the table found that amusing. Between her controlling yet sweet attitude, Hazel would make the perfect event planner. Although I imagined she would be better at weddings and birthdays.

Before Hazel could ask anymore questions, I cleared my throat and got up. Record time for me.

"Well, this was delicious. Thank you so much again, Esme. I'm gonna turn in for the night and get ready for school. Hazel, did you want to sleep over?"

"No, that's okay. I have lots to do before tomorrow."

We both took our dishes to the kitchen and quietly retreated in record time.

"She doesn't seem bad. Like, at all. But I do get what you mean that she's weird. I felt like she was looking into my soul the whole time."

Hazel twirled her hair around her finger and got lost in her thoughts while I silently agreed.

She did seem extremely observant. Like she knew the answers to her questions before I even answered them. So odd.

All I knew was I was ready for the first day of school to get here. Seeing our classmates, having lunch in the cafeteria and having something to do will restore the normalcy I've been looking for.

I walked my best friend out and continued to get ready for bed.

Lit the candles. Took a shower and put on my fuzziest socks. I was determined to not let anything get me down anymore. Things would work out. They always did.

* * *

"So, tell me something, Bella."

I turned in my seat and glanced at Edward in the passenger side.

"How can I help you?" I tried to keep my composure, but I was just avoiding the inevitable. I had to tell Edward that this wouldn't work out. We lived together. We were technically siblings. My father would think he was taking advantage of me or worse, that I wouldn't be able to see it coming. Either way, I didn't want to worry him. It was _his_ turn to be happy. It was my turn to support him.

I gave Edward a small smile and waited for him to continue.

"You don't actually think you can avoid me until graduation, do you?"

He laughed. Actually laughed. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard. He ran a hand through his perfect hair and leaned back in his seat. I couldn't see his eyes through his ray-bans but I knew what I would see. Sadness filled with contempt. He also knew this wouldn't work. But he was somehow content with what we were.

He was content with stealing glances, catching small hints of my body wash, and sometimes- just sometimes, brushing his fingers with mine. In the most casual of ways, he was capable of making me forget how to breathe.

And yet, here we were.

"I was kind of hoping, yeah." I shrugged my shoulders and hoped that he wouldn't press on. I didn't want to talk about it right now because I knew that we wouldn't be able to resolve anything before first period.

I gave him my best chuckle and hoped that he would get the hint.

"You don't have to. I already know." He crossed his arms and looked out the window.

"But there's something that _you_ don't know, Bella. This isn't as black and white as you think it is. Can't you just trust me?"

I didn't even know how to respond to that. Why the vagueness? Why the mystery?

"What do you mean, Edward? What is it that you're not telling me?"

I pointed an eyebrow at him as I pulled in to the parking lot. He sighed and started to gather his coffee and backpack.

"Oh no, you are not going anywhere. You better tell me what you're talking about. I'm sick of the mystery!" I slammed my hands on the steering wheel and locked the doors.

I caught a smile out of my peripheral and it took everything in me to not smack it off his face.

"What mystery, Bella?"

Edward smirked, reached over to unlock the doors and then left.

Me? Only thing I got was a whiff of his incredible smell, amber and vanilla. With remnants of him still lingering in the air of my car, I slammed my steering wheel again for good measure and grabbed my backpack.

I was actually going to go crazy. This was how it was going to end. With me in an asylum.

I scrambled through the rain to first period and hoped that I would have some friends in this class. Calculus is not usually a class people want to take at 8 in the morning.

I took the seat closest to the board so that I could force myself to not be distracted and watched the door as students trickled in.

So far, only three people I actually knew entered. Most of them were sophomores which was really annoying. Since when did 15 year olds do Calculus?

My friend Trent took a seat next to me and I was glad to have a familiar face. Trent was on the basketball team. Trent was not the best conversationalist, per say, but he was always really nice.

Apparently, he had gone snowboarding over the break. Almost broke his arm. He's very sorry he missed my party.

"No worries, Trent. It really wasn't that eventful. Just your usual pool party with pizza." I gathered my hair behind my back and waited for class to start. Our teacher was supposed to be here two minutes ago.

"That's not what I heard, Bella."

My head whipped towards Trent and I dared him to continue with my glares. People didn't usually push me too much, but I had been known to get short tempered when it came to gossip.

"Good morning, class! Sorry I'm late! Ran in to one of your newest classmates in the office, thought I'd walk him on over!" Mrs. Bradley was one of the sweetest teachers I had ever had in the last two years. She taught Algebra, Trigonometry and Calculus. This was my third year with her.

She was a middle-aged woman who always slipped small details about her personal life that I loved. I knew that we could be great friends. If it was appropriate, I would ask her out for coffee and we'd watch Harry Potter movies together all day.

Today, however, she seemed to not catch my drift.

"Class, this is Edward Cullen. He just moved down here…from where did you say? Oregon? Well, he is very acclimated to rain already, so that's great! Edward, go ahead find an empty seat, dear…"

Thankfully, both the seats next to me were taken. So, he chose the next best thing and sat right behind me.

I felt his glance as he walked past the first row and I did my best to stare at the blank notebook in front of me.

I caught that same sweet aroma of amber and vanilla again and knew that this would be the longest semester of my life.

* * *

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	18. Chapter 18

"Okay class, you have some extra time to finish up your homework. I'll be going around if you need help or have any questions." Mrs. Bradley started rummaging through her desk while I turned to the correct page for the homework problems.

"Bella?"

I turned around to find Edward leaning into his seat.

"Yeah?"

"I didn't know you were in this class. I wonder if we have any more classes together."

I wanted to ask him for his schedule to see but I also didn't want to talk to him. If he was going to walk away from me then I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of my attention, either.

"Not sure."

I turned around and started working on the problems. Math wasn't usually too hard for me and we were still reviewing old stuff. Luckily, I was able to finish pretty quickly. By the time everybody caught up, I was already on tomorrow's homework.

The bell rang just in time and I sped out of the room. I knew that Edward would try to follow me and I probably should've helped him find his way around but I was too flustered to carry any type of conversation right now.

I walked to my locker to switch out books and hoped that Hazel would be nearby. Her locker was right next to mine, thanks to easily impressionable freshmen. One hair swipe over the shoulder and a touch on the arm and Hazel could make anyone do anything.

Unfortunately, she was nowhere to be found. Probably off doing some student government stuff or hanging up posters. We only had P.E. together this semester which was fine. But I did hate only seeing her at lunch.

The warning bell rang and I made my way to AP Biology.

"Hey, Bella." I felt the presence of someone catching up to me and before I could even turn, Eli was already at my side.

Eli.

Eli was my ex. Sort of. In the loosest of terms. He had a major crush on me and for a while I felt the same. We had kissed a couple of times at parties when we were both drunk or high. He sometimes held my hand during movies. We shared big bowls of ice cream. Nothing official but nothing too casual either. It was complicated.

Then, he turned into a jerk after his dad died. His dad and my dad were on the force together and last year, there was a terrible car accident that took his life. He wasn't even on the clock. Drunk driver hit him head on. After that, Eli didn't talk to anyone. Dropped all of his friends and even stopped showing up to school. It was understandable but I had my own problems to deal with. I wanted to be there for him but it was really difficult when all he wanted to do was shut people out.

He said some really hurtful things to both me and Hazel. That we were privileged, stupid kids who could never understand the reality of the outside world. I tried to be supportive but I couldn't take the insults anymore and eventually started to avoid him.

It was kind of odd that he was seeking me out.

"Hey, Eli. How was your break?"

"Not bad. Hey, I was hoping we could talk. Can I come find you at lunch?"

We stopped in front of my classroom and I weighed my options. I could meet up with him and see what he has to say or avoid him for as long as possible. I did want to see how he was doing so I gave him a nod.

"It was really good to see you, Bella."

He almost seemed like his old self. Shy, sweet smile. Hair always grown out a little too long but just perfect enough to still be messy cute. I couldn't even lie, I almost fell for that smile pretty hard.

I walked in the door and immediately noticed Edward sitting in the second row. He must have caught all that.

I sighed and took my usual seat at the front.

The lab tables seated four and I took the seat next to Edward. Might as well get this over with.

"Edward."

"Haven't seen you in a while, Bella." He smiled and pushed his hair back.

"Let me see your schedule."

Sure enough, we had 4 of 6 classes together.

Calculus, AP Bio, plant biology and English.

Great.

"We have a few classes together." I rolled my eyes and handed his schedule back after pointing out which. After this class I had P.E. and then lunch. At least I would get a break then.

Mr. Bennett interrupted just in time to begin the class. I could feel Edward staring at me from my left and I didn't know what to do.

It almost made me uncomfortable and maybe if I wasn't so attracted to him, I might even be annoyed. Alas, this was not the case.

I felt him inch closer and closer. He rolled his chair as close as it would come to me. I could almost feel him breathing but I didn't do anything. I didn't move, I didn't lean away. I couldn't. It was like he put a force field around me and only the two of us existed.

"Please, don't push me out, Bella." He whispered so gently that I wasn't even sure if I heard him correctly.

He put his hand on my thigh and started drawing circles. I felt his warmth, his electricity, and I couldn't help but close my eyes. To enjoy it, to get lost in it.

"You've already ruined me. I cannot stay away from you."

A sigh escaped my lips before I could stop it. I quickly opened my eyes to see if anyone else caught it but luckily, all eyes were still on Mr. Bennet.

I took his hand and put it back on his lap. This lack of control was getting really old, really fast.

"Stop…please."

He nodded and retreated to his corner of the table. The first half of class was lecture and we had some lab stuff to do at the end. Mostly observing slides on a microscope and drawing them in our lab notebooks.

"You wanna do the first half and I'll do the second?" I tried to break up the tension between us by focusing on the work, but it didn't seem to help.

"Sure."

Now he was upset. Why were boys so annoying?

I rolled my eyes and got started on drawing the slides.

"I'll wait. For you to see that there is nothing wrong. That we might even need each other."

He didn't look at me as he spoke softly. I wondered why he became so attached, so fast. I mean, sure, I was incredibly attracted to him too. But he was taking this to a whole other level.

I didn't respond and kept working. I didn't know what to say. He could wait as long as he wanted. I wasn't betraying my dad.

The bell rang and I sprinted out of class once again. I quickly shoved my books and backpack into my locker and walked to the gym.

I finally spotted my best friend lingering by the entrance, talking to Eli.

I came up from the side and hugged her as tight as I could.

"Where have you been, Haze?!"

"Hi, Eli."

My best friend giggled and hugged me back.

"Sorry hun, busy morning! There was a meeting for the prom committee. You know that's only like 3 months away, right?!"

Eli and I both chuckled and rolled our eyes. For much of freshman and sophomore year, we were inseparable. All three of us ate lunch together, had a bunch of classes together and even walked home together.

Everything changed at the end of last year.

"I missed you guys. Bring it in for a hug. I need some love." He wrapped his arms around the both of us and squeezed tight. I could feel myself tearing up and I knew that Hazel was probably about to cry, too. It was just all too familiar.

All three of us had lost so much, at so young.

"Listen, I know you have to get to gym but I want you guys to know that I've been doing better. I'll never be like my old self again, I think…but I think I am also better." He scratched the back of his and looked down. He was being his usual shy self. I had missed him a lot, too.

"I don't know if I'm making any sense but…I think I need to be around people again." He finally looked up to find both of us teary eyed.

I was nodding like crazy, to show him that I supported him no matter what. Hazel was grabbing his hand and telling him that it was okay.

In that moment, I kind of just knew that she was right. As usual. That everything would be okay.

* * *

 _Please review and let me know what you think!_


	19. Chapter 19

"Let's make a pact."

Hazel still had both of her arms around our shoulders and we were forced to share oxygen space.

"No more bullshit. No more being alone. We don't have to deal with this shit by ourselves. We have each other."

"Whoa, Haze. You started cussing? Was I gone that long?"

We all started cracking up with tears in our eyes and hugged one more time for good measure.

When we broke it up, I put my hand in the middle and waited for them to do the same.

"Deal."

"I'm in."

"You know I just love your ideas, Haze." Eli smiled and I felt a strange sense of déjà vu.

I felt whole. More than I had felt in a long time. I had my two best friends and although things were complicated with Edward, I even had him.

Maybe he was right. Maybe I did need him.

"Okay, get to class, girls! I'll see you at lunch!"

Eli took off in a little bit of a run as he tried to get to his own class without being late.

Hazel and I scurried to the locker room to change and I think we both felt a happy buzz around us.

"So that was awesome."

Hazel always liked Eli. They lived on the same street and hung out pretty often when they were little. I didn't really like boys until middle school. I thought they were gross and refused to talk to them. Although I knew Eli, I had never spent time with him until freshmen year.

"Yeah, I'm really glad he's doing better."

"Think he'll try to get at you again? I mean, let's be real, you got really hot over summer." She giggled as she pulled up her gym shorts. I rolled my eyes and didn't even want to think about that right now.

"I don't think I would want him to, Haze. I know he was going through a lot of stuff and he still is, but that doesn't excuse how mean and hateful he was last year."

She nodded and agreed. It was easy to forgive people. Forgetting, not so much.

"Let's just see how it goes. And besides, I could use a friend right now."

"You're right. Boys are just distracting."

I raised an eyebrow and glared at her.

"Okay, okay. I was really talking about you, not me. I still like boys very much." She flipped her hair and gave me her best Miss America smile.

I shook my head and followed my best friend in to the gym. Everyone was already dressed out and ready and waiting on us.

Awkward.

"Nice of you to join us, ladies." Our gym teacher was the worst. Mr. Hollenback was quite possibly the worst human I had ever met. He smelled. Had yellow teeth. I think he only had like 4 teeth to begin with. He was rude. He always handed out detention slips for the most random reasons and held favorites.

I rolled my eyes and stopped behind the group of kids all huddled around the "coach". I use air quotes because that's what he makes us call him even though he doesn't actually coach anything at this school.

Hazel hated him too but since he played favorites, he didn't know that. I on the other hand, did not care. He knew I hated him.

"Mr. Hollenback," (I never call him coach) "do you think maybe that the itinerary of your entire class shouldn't depend on two simple girls?"

Everyone chuckled and I continued to hold my glare.

"I don't know, Miss Swan, maybe you can find out in detention with that attitude."

I rolled my eyes yet again and waited for the detention slip.

Worth it.

Hazel elbowed my side and I gave her a giggle. She knew I didn't care if I got detention. It was the perfect time to get ahead on homework and in this case, I could even avoid Edward. Seemed like a win to me.

"Is there any chance I could go to detention right now, Mr. Hollenback?"

I took the slip from his hands and waited for the answer I already knew.

"You know when detention is, Miss Swan, since you're always there. And that's coach to you."

He turned to continue the class and I cleared my throat.

"Right, thanks for the info, Mr. Hollenback."

Everyone laughed again but this time he didn't bite. We were playing basketball today. Goodie. I tried to hang back and since everyone knew I was useless when it came to physical activity, nobody actually passed me the ball.

With that, the bell finally rang, and we were off to lunch. I was bored out of my mind and couldn't wait till next year. I didn't have to take math or P.E. my senior year. It was going to be amazing.

We quickly changed and spotted Eli at our usual table. It was weird and yet super familiar seeing him there.

Slowly, all of our friends started trickling in and I kept my eye out for Edward. I still wasn't sure if I should invite him to sit with us but it seemed like it would be rude if I didn't.

I finally made eye contact with him when he entered and couldn't help but notice the entire cafeteria has noticed him, as well.

The guys stood a little taller, the girls got extra quiet and began to whisper. I gave him a small smile and motioned for him to come join us.

What I didn't expect was for him to point at another table and take a seat next to the jocks.

Immediately, half of the cheer squad flocked to his side and began asking him questions. I couldn't hear them from where I was sitting but Edward didn't seem to mind.

"Who is that?" Eli leaned in to the table and asked everyone.

"That's Bella's new step-brother."

He coughed out some of his milk and struggled to wipe the excess that he had spit out.

"What?! _That_ is your brother?!"

Hazel started laughing along with everyone else. Eli kept my gaze and I could tell he wasn't caught up on any of the drama.

"Bella, what the heck? Your dad remarried? Why wasn't I invited? Or my mom?" He seemed genuinely hurt. His mom and my dad became close friends after Eli's father died. My dad helped them with anything they needed, brought them food, fixed their porch.

"No one was really invited. It was in Portland." Hazel answered for me. Probably because she could tell how uncomfortable I was. Also probably because she was also hurt by the lack of an invitation.

"Portland? Who is she? Is she nice? When did this happen? Is _he_ nice?" Eli was talking too fast and glanced over to Edward. Just then, Edward caught Eli's gaze too. I couldn't tell if there was some kind of tension there but neither of them seemed too happy.

"You have to catch me up after school, Bella. I'll walk you home."

Hazel laughed again.

"She can't, she has detention. Besides, everyone drives now, Eli." She took a sip out of the berry smoothie that she had brought and was enjoying herself a little too much.

Eli shook his head and got up from the table while pushing his seat all the way back.

He took his tray of food and threw it across the room. Everyone stopped and the entire cafeteria got quiet.

Eli turned, looking for somebody and stopped when he made eye contact with one of the school counselors.

"Mr. Chambers! Detention!"

Eli nodded and sat back down.

"Guess we'll have some time to catch up, Bells."

He stole a carrot off my plate, and I was too dumbfounded to say anything.

I peeked at Edward at across the room and he was already staring at Eli like he was a zombie. Hazel cleared her throat and tried to change the subject. I silently thanked my best friend and scrolled through my phone to avoid eye contact.

Things were getting strange. And I had no idea what to do about it.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

I'm not sure at what point my life was supposed to feel like my own. I mean, I understand that it's me behind the wheel but do you ever feel like you've actually been in the passenger seat this whole time? Watching someone or something make the decisions while you empty heartedly agree because what's the point in changing anything? Would it bring my mom back? Would it make me not be a basket case?

It's too convenient to pretend like my choices are not my own, I guess. But here's the thing, these last few days, I've felt like every single decision has been life or death. Maybe it's the teenage drama that everyone seems to talk about. Maybe I'm the poster child for adolescent problems.

Who knows?

The only thing I _do_ know is that I am sitting in Plant Biology, knowing that Edward is going to walk in any second and I have to decide. Right now- whether or not I want to continue letting him into my life.

Why right now?

… _Why not?_ When are you supposed to make decisions like this? The funny thing is, I thought I had decided. I told him to stay away. Why wasn't he fazed by this? He acted like I had simply told him my favorite color in the car and then completely ignored me at lunch. I could be overanalyzing. I could just be looking for things that aren't there to find excuses to talk to him.

But I could also be right. Something _is_ off and I owe it to myself and especially to my dad to find out what. Why the mystery? Why all the vague hints? What does he know that I don't?

There's no way I was going to be able to let this go. At least for the sake of my dad's happiness, I was going to find out where all of this led to.

First step? Get Edward's guard down. Shouldn't be too difficult.

Next? Get closer to Esme. Somehow, she was involved. I just knew it. I was completely at peace with Edward in our home but the second she showed up, that's when things started to feel strange.

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't even notice Edward walk in. And I don't think he saw me either. He kept walking towards to back of the room and didn't even glance my way.

What the heck? What had changed between Calculus and now? I glanced back to where he had sat and we finally made eye contact. I think this was the first time I had seen Edward conflicted. Unsure. I motioned for him to come sit next to me and moved my backpack from where I was saving his seat.

He hesitated for a moment but sure enough got up and stopped at my desk.

"Bella."

"Edward, is everything okay? I didn't mean to get angry this morning, I'm sorry…" I trailed hoping that he would bite and he did.

"No, Bella. Everything is fine."

Except it clearly wasn't. He was barely making any eye contact. His smile was gone and he didn't even seem like he _wanted_ to sit next to me.

"Edward, clearly something is up. You ignored me at lunch and now you're gonna act like you didn't see me sitting here?"

He exhaled deeply. Clearly contemplating what to say next.

"I have chemistry with your friend, Eli."

He folded his arms across his chest and looked ahead to the front of the classroom.

Eli? What could Eli have said to make him act this way? I waited for him to elaborate but he didn't.

"Yeah, he's an old family friend. Did he say something to you? Why are you acting like this?"

"No, Bella. He actually didn't say much."

"Okay….? Then, what?"

"Forget it. It's fine. We're fine." He started fidgeting with his notebook, his pen and pushed his hair back away from his face. He was clearly frustrated. But about what? God, what is with all this drama? Why couldn't he just say what was bothering him?

Just as I was about to press further, the class began.

I guess the only other person I could ask was Eli. Good thing I had detention with him after school.

The rest of the day wasn't any different. I went to my locker, changed books and repeated. I had two classes left and Edward was still being cold. By last period, I had hoped that he had loosened up a bit.

As much as I loved Biology, English was always my favorite class. Probably because I loved to read.

Edward was already seated in the back when I finally made it to class. I sat in front of him and turned around to see if his mood had improved.

"Been a while." I offered him a small smile and tested the waters. All I got was a smile back.

I had never seen Edward like this before. Granted, I'd only known him for a few weeks but nonetheless, this seemed so out of character for him.

I sighed and turned back around. After this class, I would head to detention and just ask Eli myself.

Mr. Chaney continued his lecture and ended class a little early on account of it being the first day.

"Hey, I have detention today. I can't give you a ride back but I can text Clay real quick and he should be here in a few." I continued gathering all of my stuff and shoving it into my backpack.

"Oh. How long is detention?" He paused to look at me. _Actually_ look at me since first period this morning.

"Usually only 30 minutes."

"I'll just wait for you. I have to talk to the swim coach anyway."

"Oh. Okay."

We left the classroom together and went our separate ways at the end of the hallway.

I traded all my books with the ones I needed for homework from my locker and made my way to the small conference room/clubs room that detention was usually held.

Eli was already there.

"Bella! I don't know who's running this detention but they're still not here."

"They're always late at the end of the day." I sat all of my stuff down on the seat next to me and turned to Eli, ready for his interrogation.

"So, Edward said you guys have a class together."

I tried to keep my face neutral but the wheels were already spinning in my mind.

"Yeah…intense dude. He lives with you now?"

"Yup. He seemed really upset after he met you. Did you maybe say anything to him? About me?"

"Really? No, not at all. He introduced himself and sat down a seat over. We didn't talk about anything. Did he say that I upset him or something?"

"No, he didn't. Just mentioned that he met you. It must be something else, don't worry about it."

This didn't really make any sense. Why would Edward bring up Eli if they didn't even have a conversation? Now I felt like a bitch for just questioning Eli like this. After a pause, I tried to quickly change the subject.

"So, how is everything with you? How's your mom?"

He looked down at his hands that were resting on top of his desk and seemed to get lost in thought. Now I felt even worse.

This was also the first time I had really looked at Eli since this morning. He looked the same but…older. He had gained a little bit of weight. Filled out. His shoulders were a little broader. His hands more calloused. His eyes more reserved.

"She's okay. Better. She finally went back to work, too. After my dad died, she didn't want to go back to a hospital. Being a nurse and seeing people with similar injuries were really triggering for her. She's finally seeing someone, though. It's made a huge difference for her."

He offered me a small smile but seemed really uncomfortable.

"That's really great. I'm so glad."

"Hey, listen. I would love to have you and Haze over for one of our movie nights soon. Think you'd be down?"

"Yes. I think that would be really great. I feel like I've missed out on so much."

"Trust me, you did not miss out on anything. We've just been in our little bubble trying to stay afloat. Same as always."

Eli turned to me and waited a moment. Maybe contemplating on what to say next but I couldn't resist enjoying his attention. He had always drawn me in. Made me feel just a little too special.

"You were always so good at that, Bells. Staying afloat."

Before I could say anything, our awesome gym teacher walked in and cleared his throat.

"Well, get comfortable. Neither of you are leaving until I finish inputting these grades."

We both rolled our eyes and pulled out our homework. I wondered where Edward was and how long he would have to wait. I hated this anticipation.

If it wasn't Eli that had upset him, then what did?


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Finally, after 38 slow minutes, we were both released from detention.

"Do you need a ride home, Eli? You mentioned you were walking and you're on the way." Eli shoved his hands inside of his pockets and nodded.

"That'd be great, thanks."

I took out my phone to call Edward but just as we were exiting the building, I spotted him leaning against my car. I put my phone away and sighed.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot you guys are like living together now." Eli chuckled but I knew it probably bothered him. It would bother me. It _did_ bother me.

When we finally got to the car, Edward was now really interested in the book in his hand. He didn't even greet me or Eli which was definitely super strange.

"Hey," I didn't know if I should be explaining why Eli was here since he wasn't even talking to me but I didn't want to add fuel to the fire, "I offered Eli a ride home, he's on the way."

He still didn't say anything and instead walked around to the passenger seat. I unlocked the car and within record time, we were peeling out of the parking lot of the school.

"Thanks again, Bella. With everything that happened, would you believe I actually forgot to get my license?" He gave me a shy smile in the rearview mirror and looked down.

Yeah, I could believe it. When a parent dies, it's like time stops. The world continues without you and you're supposed to figure out how to make sense of anything all by yourself. It's even worse that his mom wasn't really there for him. Not the way my dad was. He must be so alone.

"I completely understand, maybe I can give you lessons? Whenever you're free."

That got a reaction out of him. His smile was exactly as I remembered it. Just _warm._

"Are you sure? I doubt I'm gonna be anywhere at driving a car than riding those stupid bikes we got last year. I still can't believe I managed to fall down every time we took them out."

We shared a laugh, remembering the simpler times of sophomore year. I forgot Edward was even next to me until he crossed his arms over his chest and looked out the window.

"It's way easier, trust me we'll be good to go for that test in no time."

There was an awkward silence for a pretty long time until we finally arrived at Eli's house. His house looked different. Not as green. Not as manicured. The grass was way too long and all the flowers had over grown and become lanky plants. I guess maintaining the yard was his Dad's thing. Eli lived in a small neighborhood between my house and the school. All the houses were simply adorable, they looked like country cottages from the outside. I had been inside Eli's home and the inside was just as gorgeous. Not too big, not too small. Modern finishes.

I pulled up to Eli's driveway and put the car in reverse.

"Thank you, again! I'll see you tomorrow." I was grateful that he didn't try to talk more, I was already uncomfortable as it is.

I waved goodbye and pulled the car out of the driveway.

There was still silence in the car, Edward still did not want to speak to me but I could somehow feel the mood shifting.

He wasn't huffing and puffing anymore and I could tell his mood was lifting the closer we got home.

I still sure as hell wasn't going to break the silence. At this point, if I pushed any more, he would think I was up to something. I put the car in park and got out. After dumping my backpack by the door, I beamed upstairs mainly to change but also to avoid Edward for a little bit.

I changed into a pair of sweatpants and a tank top and smoked a quick bowl.

After the much-needed moment to myself, I finally started to head downstairs for some food.

No one was in the kitchen or living room so I figured Edward had gone to his own room.

I took out the ingredients for a PB&J and started assembling the sandwich. Just as I was done, I heard music start to come from upstairs. A slow acoustic. It sounded so peaceful and elegant.

I took my plate to the living room and ate in the small silence. I could still hear the music and wondered what Edward was going through. I was still beyond confused but it had to be something significant for this type of reaction from him.

I contemplated going to his room and demanding that he talk to me. Or at the very least, ask nicely.

I took my plate to the kitchen and started my march to Edward's room. I still had never been in there since he moved in. I was actually kind of excited. Before my anxiety won over my current state of excitement, I quickly knocked on the door. I didn't know if he would hear it since the music was still going but it wasn't a super loud tune.

He answered the door and waited for me to talk.

"Edward. I want to know why you've been so moody today. I don't think it's fair that you're just being so rude to me without even telling- "he cut me off midsentence and pulled me into his room. I was suddenly pressed up against the door with Edward's arms on either side of my body, trapping me in.

"Bella, do you even know who your friend Eli is? I mean, how well do you _really_ know him?"

Still stunned from the violation of space, I couldn't even comprehend his question.

Eli? So that is what this is about?

"What are you talking about? Of course, I know who he is, what is your problem?" I tried to shove him away to get some clarity but no chance. He wouldn't budge.

"Oh really? You know who he is?" He pushed off the wall and left me pressed against the door as he murmured to himself, "I seriously doubt that."

I didn't know how to answer, I didn't even know what he was asking.

He ran his fingers through his hair and stopped at the top to pull. He seemed so incredibly frustrated but I just couldn't understand why.

"Edward. You need to tell me what is going on. Right. NOW. I'm about to come over there and punch you in the face if you don't start talking."

He laughed to himself and started pacing the room.

"Ok sit." He took my hands and made me sit at the edge of the bed. Somewhere in the corner of my mind, I was acknowledging the fact that I was sitting on his bed…in his room…but it was fleeting and couldn't hang on.

"You have been friends with him for a while? His dad died, right? Well, I knew his dad. Actually, my mom knew his dad. They were sort of…friends? I don't know exactly but it didn't click until I heard his last name being yelled in the cafeteria today. Goldsworthy? You don't forget a name like that and I doubt it was a different guy. Plus, they both died around the same time. It has to be the same guy. Eli's dad was someone that my mom was almost afraid of. There are things you don't know about my family but all I can tell you for now is _you can't trust Eli._ Please, tell me you'll listen."

He was still holding my hands but I couldn't comprehend his words. Don't trust Eli? I had known him forever, Hazel had known him forever. And I knew his dad! I had met him so many times, he was an incredibly sweet guy. He would make pancakes for us on Sunday mornings. He would fix things around the house. He would watch trashy TV with us just to spend time with his son.

I bolted up and pulled my hands away. What he was saying was not making any sense.

"Look, Bella, I don't know if Eli is anything…like…his dad but you have to believe me. His dad was not a good guy. And he must know something. Why did he disappear for so long? Don't you think that's a little strange?"

He was pleading with me, _begging_ me but I couldn't imagine a world where Mr. Goldsworthy was a bad man. I shook my head and the wheels started turning.

"Edward, how did _you_ know him? You didn't even live here. You're telling me you met in Portland? That he's a bad guy because you ran into him once? Eli's dad was an engineer, he worked out of an office. He never traveled to my knowledge. So how could you possibly have known him? Tell me! I'm so sick of this! I'll ask your mother myself but I swear to god I will never forgive you." He had a blank stare on. I couldn't tell if he was going to take my ultimatum. His face was literally stone.

He finally blinked after what seemed like forever and his complexion softened.

"Fine, Bella. Her answer won't be much different. This is not about hurting you. We're trying to protect you but your stubbornness will be the end of you, I hope you can see that. I can't protect you if you won't listen to me."

He was trying to walk towards me but I was too enraged to let him anywhere near.

"No. Don't touch me. You're a liar. A sociopath. You're using my friend's dad's death to some sick agenda between you and your mom and I can't believe I ever trusted you. I was right. You guys are both stone cold statues. If you can't tell me, your OWN FAMILY, what the hell this big secret is then who can you?"

I turned around and walked out the door, without waiting for his answer. I was so livid. My skin was on fire and I wanted to hit something.

In my room, I turned on the water to the shower and waited for it to heat up by putting music on. Hopefully a shower will help calm my nerves. I was officially done with Edward. I was officially done with his vague and ominous threats. I will find out what this secret is and I will not let him or his mother hurt my family.


End file.
